Poor Stickers, aka Dipshit kitteh. This 4th of July has been rough on her. She's finally asleep, I think, but maybe not to deeply with the war zone going on outside still. Old man kitteh could care less. They just don't seem to bother him. Maybe its because we got him when the kids were little. If you can survive that, fireworks are no big deal.
The dipshit kitteh hasn't left my side since they have begun. And wants me to hold her like a little baby. You know how hard it is to be on your laptop with a kitteh in your arms? But alas, that seems to be how it is going to go for the rest of the night.
Everytime that I've gone outside to watch the fireworks in the surrounding area she wants to go outside. Then about 30 seconds later, after a boom, she's meowing to go back in. Stupid kitteh. Don't you know I tried telling you about the noise?
At least the apartments I live in has banned them, with a risk of immediate eviction if caught setting them off. Which is nice. I'm a pyromaniac at heart, but there isn't enough space in an apartment parking lot to set stuff off without risking someone's car. Of course, that didn't stop anyone last year, but has seemed to work this year.
Shortie went to a local reservation with friends to go blow everything up. I'm glad we don't live near there for several reasons. The fireworks and dipshit don't mix, and they have a really nice casino. That could be really costly if I lived that close. I don't live that far, but I don't like to fight the traffic to get there. So that tends to limit my visits to about once or twice a year. Although they do have a really good buffet. Maybe I'll have to stop by on a day off soon.
Hopefully the booms will stop soon. It is 11:30 already, and she is upset. At least I don't work early mornings anymore, so going to bed late won't be a problem for me. But the kitteh, different story.
Hope everyone had a fun 4th and still has all their fingers.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Keep an eye on your kids when in a parking lot watching fireworks
Tonight Shortie talked me into going out to watch the fireworks at Emerald Downs. This is the horse race track here locally. Now as we didn't want to actually go into the place, we went to the grocery store across from it. Well, not directly across from it but with a really good view. Apparently everyone comes to see the fireworks on the 3rd out here by the track. And they are all over the city of Auburn. Maybe not all over the city, but within viewing range of the track.
So we get to the grocery store parking lot where she goes every year with her friends to see the show, I was amazed (I don't know why it amazes me anymore) at how many kids were running around this parking lot without parental supervision. Now this parking lot is not closed off to traffic, nor is it on a road never used. Its actually off of one of the main streets that is incredibly busy. We saw a child about 5 or 6 damn near go into the road while traffic goes by at 45mph. WTF? Do you not want your kid to make it through the night? People lighting off fireworks in the parking lot and throwing them at people. Do you NOT know that the city of Auburn has a fireworks ban? Really? Of course, several of these came really close to several of the cars. Thank god we parked at the end where they weren't setting stuff off, as I might be in jail for decking some idiot who sent one near my vehicle.
Oh. It gets better. One of Shortie's friends made it to the show. So we gave her a ride back to her place, which wasn't far, but she was recovering from a cold and it was chilly and dark out. After dropping her off we start down the road and what do we see? A couple of adults with a little kid went running across the road. Did I mention they were all wearing dark clothes? Did I also mention that there was the crosswalk just on the other side of the build they were behind? WTF? Then as we approach that really busy road I mentioned earlier, some little kid (around 4 or 5yo) jumped off the sidewalk into the street. Thank god I saw the kid when I did and I wasn't farther up the road, or it would've been a really bad situation. That would've been horrible. Of course, the parents would've sued even though they weren't paying any attention to this little one at almost 11pm. Its dark out. Watch your f-ing kids. Some of us don't want to be responsible for hurting them, or god forbid, killing them. Shortie wanted to jump out of the car to confront them, but she just settled on a rant about how some people just shouldn't breed.
Ok, I'm not a perfect parent. I've never claimed to be one. But my kids grew up knowing not to run in the street, and to hold an adults hand while out in public. They do get embarrassed about that now that they are 18 and 19. Ok, I really don't make them hold my hand anymore, they'd give me cooties at this point anyway. When they were little, I taught all three to "touch" the car while I was getting them into it. As there was usually one or more of them needing to get into car/booster seats, I'd put the littlest one at the time in first, then the rest. Well, its kinda hard to put one in the car and hold onto the other one. They knew that if they moved their hand off the car they were in big trouble. It worked.
People watch your kids. You brought them into the world. Don't let someone accidentally take them out of it. If you want to be stupid, YOU run into the road and I'd be more than willing to hit you as you are worth points.
So we get to the grocery store parking lot where she goes every year with her friends to see the show, I was amazed (I don't know why it amazes me anymore) at how many kids were running around this parking lot without parental supervision. Now this parking lot is not closed off to traffic, nor is it on a road never used. Its actually off of one of the main streets that is incredibly busy. We saw a child about 5 or 6 damn near go into the road while traffic goes by at 45mph. WTF? Do you not want your kid to make it through the night? People lighting off fireworks in the parking lot and throwing them at people. Do you NOT know that the city of Auburn has a fireworks ban? Really? Of course, several of these came really close to several of the cars. Thank god we parked at the end where they weren't setting stuff off, as I might be in jail for decking some idiot who sent one near my vehicle.
Oh. It gets better. One of Shortie's friends made it to the show. So we gave her a ride back to her place, which wasn't far, but she was recovering from a cold and it was chilly and dark out. After dropping her off we start down the road and what do we see? A couple of adults with a little kid went running across the road. Did I mention they were all wearing dark clothes? Did I also mention that there was the crosswalk just on the other side of the build they were behind? WTF? Then as we approach that really busy road I mentioned earlier, some little kid (around 4 or 5yo) jumped off the sidewalk into the street. Thank god I saw the kid when I did and I wasn't farther up the road, or it would've been a really bad situation. That would've been horrible. Of course, the parents would've sued even though they weren't paying any attention to this little one at almost 11pm. Its dark out. Watch your f-ing kids. Some of us don't want to be responsible for hurting them, or god forbid, killing them. Shortie wanted to jump out of the car to confront them, but she just settled on a rant about how some people just shouldn't breed.
Ok, I'm not a perfect parent. I've never claimed to be one. But my kids grew up knowing not to run in the street, and to hold an adults hand while out in public. They do get embarrassed about that now that they are 18 and 19. Ok, I really don't make them hold my hand anymore, they'd give me cooties at this point anyway. When they were little, I taught all three to "touch" the car while I was getting them into it. As there was usually one or more of them needing to get into car/booster seats, I'd put the littlest one at the time in first, then the rest. Well, its kinda hard to put one in the car and hold onto the other one. They knew that if they moved their hand off the car they were in big trouble. It worked.
People watch your kids. You brought them into the world. Don't let someone accidentally take them out of it. If you want to be stupid, YOU run into the road and I'd be more than willing to hit you as you are worth points.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
We don't tan, we rust...
As a lifetime resident of the lovely state of Washington, you'd think I'd be used to the rain, well I am used to it. I'm even used to it when we probably shouldn't have it. Like right now. Its July 3rd at 4am (I know, I'm a vampire) and its pouring. Really flipping, pouring. Stickers, the dipshit kitteh, just came running thru the apartment meowing in fear because she was in my bedroom window and the wind caused the rain to hit her. The window is partially open, its not really been warm enough for any length of time to need it open, but I like the fresh air and the window is a bitch to move so there it stays.
Everyone thinks it rains all the time in Washington, Seattle in particular. Some years it does, some years it doesn't. This is one of those years apparently. I passed a boat on the 405 coming home tonight that was loaded with animals, lots of them. Not sure where they were headed, but it looked like they were having fun. Unlike the semi going UP the 405, with no traffic in front of them, with their brake lights on. At least it looked like their brake lights, they were brighter than the normal running lights, and EVERYBODY (the two other cars in front of me) had to SLOW down before they could pass this dude. And what do we all see? No one. That's right. Not a single damned car or truck in this guys way. Now if it were a downhill stretch I could understand. But UP the hill? Really? I have friends who drive the big rigs, and I'm not 100% positive, but pretty sure that if they are going up a hill at 1am with no traffic in front of them (did I mention they were doing 45mph?), they wouldn't have their brakes on whilst going up the f-ing hill. No, they weren't even exiting, which was my first original guess when I saw the bright lights WAY ahead of me. Its amazing how quickly you can catch somepeople with your cruise control set to 63ish. Ok, it says 65 but the needle reads 2mph more than the speed readers you see all over the roads these days, so I just go to 65 and hit the set button.
The funny part about this "summer" is the fact that the weather was better in the first part of June. Which was very good as we had a graduation and a grad party that was primarily outside. The ceremony wasn't, that was held in the Tacoma Dome, but the wonderful game of 'finding all the relatives and your child after' was outside, as was the party the next day.
Rain. Gotta love it though. I mean, where else can you rust instead of tan? Wait, that could be the new state motto. Welcome to Washington. We don't tan, we rust. But the ducks are happy as hell. No not the Oregon variety, the feathered ones you can feed at the lake. Now, were in the hell is the lifeboat? Well, I am on the 3rd floor so maybe I won't need it tonight.
Everyone thinks it rains all the time in Washington, Seattle in particular. Some years it does, some years it doesn't. This is one of those years apparently. I passed a boat on the 405 coming home tonight that was loaded with animals, lots of them. Not sure where they were headed, but it looked like they were having fun. Unlike the semi going UP the 405, with no traffic in front of them, with their brake lights on. At least it looked like their brake lights, they were brighter than the normal running lights, and EVERYBODY (the two other cars in front of me) had to SLOW down before they could pass this dude. And what do we all see? No one. That's right. Not a single damned car or truck in this guys way. Now if it were a downhill stretch I could understand. But UP the hill? Really? I have friends who drive the big rigs, and I'm not 100% positive, but pretty sure that if they are going up a hill at 1am with no traffic in front of them (did I mention they were doing 45mph?), they wouldn't have their brakes on whilst going up the f-ing hill. No, they weren't even exiting, which was my first original guess when I saw the bright lights WAY ahead of me. Its amazing how quickly you can catch somepeople with your cruise control set to 63ish. Ok, it says 65 but the needle reads 2mph more than the speed readers you see all over the roads these days, so I just go to 65 and hit the set button.
The funny part about this "summer" is the fact that the weather was better in the first part of June. Which was very good as we had a graduation and a grad party that was primarily outside. The ceremony wasn't, that was held in the Tacoma Dome, but the wonderful game of 'finding all the relatives and your child after' was outside, as was the party the next day.
Rain. Gotta love it though. I mean, where else can you rust instead of tan? Wait, that could be the new state motto. Welcome to Washington. We don't tan, we rust. But the ducks are happy as hell. No not the Oregon variety, the feathered ones you can feed at the lake. Now, were in the hell is the lifeboat? Well, I am on the 3rd floor so maybe I won't need it tonight.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
So I've finally upgraded...
Well, I've put off upgrading things for as long as I can. I had to get a new phone as my old one decided that it didn't want to stay on during phone calls. I can't believe that it decided to die after almost 6 1/2 years. Aren't they supposed to last longer? Really? Are things that disposable? So I got a smart phone, and I really do like it. I managed to figure out how to hook up the blue tooth and get ringtones all by myself, but when I tried to answer a call it didn't work. I kept pushing the damned green button and it didn't work. So bless Shorties heart, when she came home she called the phone and showed me how to answer it, while rolling her eyes at me of course. WTF? You have to slide the green thingy across the screen? Who the hell thought this thing up? Everything else is just touch and it works. Really? Answering the phone isn't done the same way? Why not? And of course, I couldn't find THAT little bit of info in the instruction manual. But, whatever. It works now. I can answer your phone calls, if I want to that is.
I went to pick up Shortie at work tonight, it is nice that she is working a late shift so I can get her when I'm done and she isn't waiting very long for me. So she decided that she wanted to check out the games I had on the phone. The Flood-It frustrated her and instead of getting hooked on it (like I am) she turned that one off and went in search of something more her taste. Bejeweled was her first choice. She discovered that some apps are a pain to put on the phone, in that when you go play them or open them, you sometimes have to do all this other garbly-goop (real word I promise) to get to the damned game. I found her a really cool version of the game, and as long as I can keep the phone away from her, I might even get to play it myself. Jeez, some people's kids. Wait, she's mine. Damn. Guess I'm going to have to share.
The second upgrade I've had to do in the last two weeks is to upgrade the cable. Now this wasn't really my choice, we used to get our cable thru the apartment complex and it was part of the rent. They, however, decided that it was easier for the tenants to deal with it on their own. Not a really big deal, but as its not bulk anymore, the price is obviously more expensive. I did get a screaming deal for digital though. Amazingly it was cheaper than the expanded basic I had before. I also now have the really cool guide on the tv, so no more tv guide channel or firing up the laptop to find out what is on.
What really amazes me though is how many channels are on infommercials at 4am. Most of you probably aren't up this late, but as a bartender who keeps vampire hours, I'm up until 5am usually. But there are at least 5 more channels I like that are working at this hour. Yay.
And back to sharing new things, I had to fight to get the remote for the cable away from her so I could play with the new toy. Why can't mom get to play with things first? It's not like it's Christmas or birthday's when they get the cool stuff and get to play with them first. It's my toy. Let me play with it, or at least try to figure it out, before you have to show me how to make it work.
I know, I probably should have done these changes a long time ago, but I figure if it ain't broke don't fix it. That and I'm cheap. Why spend money if I don't need too. I mean the more I can save by not upgrading means more M&M's I can buy. Ok, I don't really buy that many M&M's, but you get the point.
Time to go play with the cool remote. Hopefully I'll have at least half of the buttons figured out before she commandeers it again.
Friday, June 29, 2012
False eyelashes look like insects needing to be squashed
So it has been a busy couple of months. Shortie had prom and graduated from high school. The Boy also went to prom with a friend of his. I got him a new suit, which he needed, and shoes to match. It was funny to see pants that were actually too long for him, its hard to do as he's 6'6" or so. Of course, the really fun part was watching him model the thing while he was trying it on. Shortie, thank god, had already gone and found a few dresses to show me. Now don't get me wrong, shopping isn't all that bad. But when she has to try on about 15+ dresses to find one or two or so that she likes it can get boring. Not to mention, that when she finds a really cute one she likes but doesn't fit quite right, she gets frustrated. Not that I blame her, I do the same thing. Which is the reason I don't like to do a lot of shopping.
But back to prom night. She had a few friends over to get ready. I had to feel sorry for both the boy and one of the girls boyfriends as they were surrounded and outnumbered by the girls. I have to give them credit, they didn't run and hide, I almost did though. So we have 3 girls doing hair and make-up in one room, I tried to leave early for work, didn't happen. We got all the hair done. How much hairspray can you use before something blows up? And whatever you do, if you have that many girls in a small room getting ready with that much hairspray, for gods sake, don't use a lighter.
Shortie had bought false eyelashes for prom. I don't know how anyone wears them, I never have. But I have helped Red put them on before. Most people probably wouldn't think they are a big deal to do, but its like trying to get a cat into a bath. Ok, maybe worse. First, you've got to get the damned adhesive on them without getting it all over, that's challenge one. The next challenge is putting them on your lash line without getting them all over your face. Then when you try the second time they don't want to stick, so more adhesive. Now there's too much, and you have to set them down to figure out if it's even worth it to put them on. Now you know why I don't use them. If you are lucky when you put them down they don't curl up on themselves, because when they do, they look like a damned bug. Squish the damn thing. Oh wait, you can't. You've spent money on these damned things.
Is having long eyelashes really that important? My girls think so. I just don't get it. They look nice in the box, and really good when they are being worn. But, why go through that hassle? I can glue my fingers together without fighting to put something on. Oh well. I still don't get it. Maybe its just me, or maybe I just don't want to wear something that I'd rather squish.
At least I didn't have to watch them battle with them. I'd have had to get the broom ready.
But back to prom night. She had a few friends over to get ready. I had to feel sorry for both the boy and one of the girls boyfriends as they were surrounded and outnumbered by the girls. I have to give them credit, they didn't run and hide, I almost did though. So we have 3 girls doing hair and make-up in one room, I tried to leave early for work, didn't happen. We got all the hair done. How much hairspray can you use before something blows up? And whatever you do, if you have that many girls in a small room getting ready with that much hairspray, for gods sake, don't use a lighter.
Shortie had bought false eyelashes for prom. I don't know how anyone wears them, I never have. But I have helped Red put them on before. Most people probably wouldn't think they are a big deal to do, but its like trying to get a cat into a bath. Ok, maybe worse. First, you've got to get the damned adhesive on them without getting it all over, that's challenge one. The next challenge is putting them on your lash line without getting them all over your face. Then when you try the second time they don't want to stick, so more adhesive. Now there's too much, and you have to set them down to figure out if it's even worth it to put them on. Now you know why I don't use them. If you are lucky when you put them down they don't curl up on themselves, because when they do, they look like a damned bug. Squish the damn thing. Oh wait, you can't. You've spent money on these damned things.
Is having long eyelashes really that important? My girls think so. I just don't get it. They look nice in the box, and really good when they are being worn. But, why go through that hassle? I can glue my fingers together without fighting to put something on. Oh well. I still don't get it. Maybe its just me, or maybe I just don't want to wear something that I'd rather squish.
At least I didn't have to watch them battle with them. I'd have had to get the broom ready.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Its not the dryer, its the building
So I got good news and bad news on Wednesday. The good news, my dryer isn't broken. The bad news, it cost $120 to tell me that. It's the damn building. Well, the venting for the dryer that is. When I told the maintenance man what it was, I got told "I told you to check the airflow". I did. The dryer's airflow that is. I didn't know I was supposed to figure out the building's vent was clogged.
Jeez. Now I get to have the management come out and fix it. And then tell me that I need to empty the lint trap after each load. I've had this set of machines for the last 22 years, I know this. What do I look like, a blonde? Ok, don't answer that. I know I'm a ditz, but really? I do know about lint traps, I even have a do-hickey to clean it out. Yes, do-hickey is a word, a technical word at that.
I'd go clean out the damn vent if I had a ladder tall enough. Even The Boy, who's around 6'6", standing on a step-stool can't get at it properly. All I want in life is to dry the clothes. Is that really too much to ask? I don't want to have to visit the hell of the laundromat in the next 20+ years if I don't need too. Have I screwed up that much in a past life to torture me that much? Don't answer. Really, don't.
At least I know that the machine is still going strong. I'm just hoping to get at least another 5 years out of it. I don't want to get a new one anytime soon, as even the repair guy said the stuff they sell now doesn't last anything like what I have.
The really funny part about this whole ordeal was the repairman was here first thing. I had scheduled a 8am - 1pm window, and we all know that they usually don't get there first thing. In fact, when it did break last year, the repairman got here around 4pm. So as I didn't want to wait all day, I figured, what the hell book the early time. Yes, the day was full of suprises.
Now all I have to do is to wait for them to fix the building. Laundromat, here I come. I seriously must have screwed up in a past life.
Jeez. Now I get to have the management come out and fix it. And then tell me that I need to empty the lint trap after each load. I've had this set of machines for the last 22 years, I know this. What do I look like, a blonde? Ok, don't answer that. I know I'm a ditz, but really? I do know about lint traps, I even have a do-hickey to clean it out. Yes, do-hickey is a word, a technical word at that.
I'd go clean out the damn vent if I had a ladder tall enough. Even The Boy, who's around 6'6", standing on a step-stool can't get at it properly. All I want in life is to dry the clothes. Is that really too much to ask? I don't want to have to visit the hell of the laundromat in the next 20+ years if I don't need too. Have I screwed up that much in a past life to torture me that much? Don't answer. Really, don't.
At least I know that the machine is still going strong. I'm just hoping to get at least another 5 years out of it. I don't want to get a new one anytime soon, as even the repair guy said the stuff they sell now doesn't last anything like what I have.
The really funny part about this whole ordeal was the repairman was here first thing. I had scheduled a 8am - 1pm window, and we all know that they usually don't get there first thing. In fact, when it did break last year, the repairman got here around 4pm. So as I didn't want to wait all day, I figured, what the hell book the early time. Yes, the day was full of suprises.
Now all I have to do is to wait for them to fix the building. Laundromat, here I come. I seriously must have screwed up in a past life.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Laundromats and other places in hell
I hate going to laundromats. The only time I'd go to them is if I couldn't get a sleeping bag into my washing machine, luckily they fit. And since I have a queen size bed I can get the comforters in there too. But the dryer decided to act up and not work. It just wouldn't dry anything. So I scheduled an appointment for today. Then on Friday, Shortie had moved it out from the wall. And voila, it dries again. Now it takes two cycles, but her clothes got dry. So I cancelled said appointment. Then on Saturday I decided to do a load for me. I checked the clothes after the second cycle, and guess what? Still damp and not even warm. Rescheduled, but I couldn't get an appointment until Wednesday. No big deal, I'll just go to the laundromat down the road.
Now the adventure starts.....
Since it has been years since I've been in one, they have put in all front loading machines. Ok, no big deal as they used to have a couple of front loaders for the really big stuff like king size comforters and sleeping bags. Now they have three sizes of them. The small, which is for 20lb loads. The medium for 50lb loads. And the large, which does 75lb loads. Ok, which leads me to my first problem. How the hell do you figure out the poundage of a load of laundry? There's no scale. Do you just guesstimate the weight? Do you insert a small annoying child into the machine to see if they'll fit, and then use that to gauge your laundry?
So I just decided to use two small and two medium machines. Now here comes the fun part. On the front of the machine they list what you put into what spot on the top of the machine. Ok, makes sense until you see the labels the laundromat put on the machines. Do they match the diagrams on the front? No, that'd be too easy. So I followed the instructions on the front, and then decided to just add more soap to the spot the top of the machine said. I wanted to make sure it got to the clothes as that was the whole point of this adventure to hell.
Next you have to pay for these to start. Ok. Who remembers when it was $.75 or $1.00 to run a load? Now, its $2.50 for a small, $4.25 for a medium, and $6.50 for the jumbo ones. Jeez, how can anyone afford to go there on a regular basis. Not to mention to run the dryers for an hour was $2.50. So three dryers and 4 washers was a lovely $21. If I have to replace my dryer, I figure that it will pay for itself in trips missed in around 15 - 20 visits to hell.
So now I sit and wait. And wonder why my washers aren't as sudsy as the other machines. Did I get the bad machines? Did I screw up the soap? Ok, that was a possibility, but still . Now comes the fun part, running between the machines to see how much longer its going to take. Everything looks smooth except the one with the bleach load in it. It keeps telling me 23 more minutes. WTF? Is this one broken? And as it looked like it was going to take forever I started two dryers. Yes, I took that much with me. I figured if I was going, might as well do it all and get it over with. But of course, that machine stopped right after I started the second dryer. Damn, more money.
But as the machine that had the darks in it had the coolest thing happen. Yes, it didn't take much to entertain me this afternoon. Shortie has this hoodie that is black with hot pink and white reflective things on it. For whatever reason, it happened to flatten itself against the front door of the machine. When it started spinning it was this really cool pink blur just spinning around. So of course, out comes the camera phone. People were looking at me like I was some tourist on my first trip to Disneyland.
Yup cool looking. Cheap entertainment, sort of.
That was just one part of hell. The another part was the kids. Now I know kids will be kids, but really? Running, screaming, opening all the machine doors? I wonder how many I could've fit in one of the big dryers? How long does a child cycle need to run for? Just kidding, sort of. The thought did cross my mind about a dozen times.
Then there were the people who choose to use the dryers right next to yours. Which would be no big deal, except that they watched mine stop and then proceeded to stand in front of them to put their clothes in. Did you not see that the rest of the row was empty? You could've gone just one more over and not imposed on someone else. Or do I not understand the etiquette of the hell called the laundromat.
I hope my dryer gets fixed. I really don't want to buy a new one, but I will if it will save me from having to go back to that hell.
Now the adventure starts.....
Since it has been years since I've been in one, they have put in all front loading machines. Ok, no big deal as they used to have a couple of front loaders for the really big stuff like king size comforters and sleeping bags. Now they have three sizes of them. The small, which is for 20lb loads. The medium for 50lb loads. And the large, which does 75lb loads. Ok, which leads me to my first problem. How the hell do you figure out the poundage of a load of laundry? There's no scale. Do you just guesstimate the weight? Do you insert a small annoying child into the machine to see if they'll fit, and then use that to gauge your laundry?
So I just decided to use two small and two medium machines. Now here comes the fun part. On the front of the machine they list what you put into what spot on the top of the machine. Ok, makes sense until you see the labels the laundromat put on the machines. Do they match the diagrams on the front? No, that'd be too easy. So I followed the instructions on the front, and then decided to just add more soap to the spot the top of the machine said. I wanted to make sure it got to the clothes as that was the whole point of this adventure to hell.
Next you have to pay for these to start. Ok. Who remembers when it was $.75 or $1.00 to run a load? Now, its $2.50 for a small, $4.25 for a medium, and $6.50 for the jumbo ones. Jeez, how can anyone afford to go there on a regular basis. Not to mention to run the dryers for an hour was $2.50. So three dryers and 4 washers was a lovely $21. If I have to replace my dryer, I figure that it will pay for itself in trips missed in around 15 - 20 visits to hell.
So now I sit and wait. And wonder why my washers aren't as sudsy as the other machines. Did I get the bad machines? Did I screw up the soap? Ok, that was a possibility, but still . Now comes the fun part, running between the machines to see how much longer its going to take. Everything looks smooth except the one with the bleach load in it. It keeps telling me 23 more minutes. WTF? Is this one broken? And as it looked like it was going to take forever I started two dryers. Yes, I took that much with me. I figured if I was going, might as well do it all and get it over with. But of course, that machine stopped right after I started the second dryer. Damn, more money.
But as the machine that had the darks in it had the coolest thing happen. Yes, it didn't take much to entertain me this afternoon. Shortie has this hoodie that is black with hot pink and white reflective things on it. For whatever reason, it happened to flatten itself against the front door of the machine. When it started spinning it was this really cool pink blur just spinning around. So of course, out comes the camera phone. People were looking at me like I was some tourist on my first trip to Disneyland.
Yup cool looking. Cheap entertainment, sort of.
That was just one part of hell. The another part was the kids. Now I know kids will be kids, but really? Running, screaming, opening all the machine doors? I wonder how many I could've fit in one of the big dryers? How long does a child cycle need to run for? Just kidding, sort of. The thought did cross my mind about a dozen times.
Then there were the people who choose to use the dryers right next to yours. Which would be no big deal, except that they watched mine stop and then proceeded to stand in front of them to put their clothes in. Did you not see that the rest of the row was empty? You could've gone just one more over and not imposed on someone else. Or do I not understand the etiquette of the hell called the laundromat.
I hope my dryer gets fixed. I really don't want to buy a new one, but I will if it will save me from having to go back to that hell.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Don't leave your 7yo in your hotel room...
So on Friday I get a call from the front desk about a situation. Remember how I hate the words "we have a situation"? Well this little girl called the front desk that her mom had left and hasn't come back yet. This is also a mom who hadn't paid to stay another night and was supposed to check out at noon, and now its 7pm.
Of course we are slammed in the restaurant. Its usually not slow on days they need me to play manager. But as the supervisor on duty, that's what I am. So I had to leave the floor to my server, who thank god was working that day as we were so busy, and go to the room. This poor little girl was hysterical. When I got there, I introduced myself to her so she would open the door. I told her that she could wait for mom in the restaurant with me until she got back. I also introduced her to the front desk staff so she would also know them.
Because the mom hadn't paid, her key didn't work, and the little girl was supposed to be there to let her in through the window. Like we were going to let that happen. Thankfully she calmed down once we left the room. What kinda of idiot leaves a 7 year old in the room? On our way to the restaurant, guess who had just come back into the hotel with her other little one? Yup, the mom of the year. I so wanted to read her the riot act right there, but I didn't want to upset the girl.
So back to work I go. Checked on things. Everything in the restaurant was ok, so I went for a walk around the building to smoke and to make sure that thislady dumb bitch didn't break the window to get back in. So guess what I saw? Yup, the littlest one (the one she took with her) heading out to the parking lot and the bitch was outside of the room. I went in and got backup so that I could figure out what she was doing now. On the phone trying to find money to pay for the room. Now we get the song and dance about how she works nights and had overslept. Did she leave the girls alone at night? WTF? I'm thinking that maybe she was a working girl doing outcalls, but I don't know. And I really don't care if girls are working or not, just don't leave your kids alone. Use your nightly income to pay for a sitter.
Now she did ask us if the older one could go get her coat out of the room. We weren't going to let her get cold outside, so we let her in to get it. She also asked if she could get her sisters blanket, so we got that too. But I drew the line at letting her get her mommy's computer. Not going to get the most expensive items out of the room so she could skip. I did have to tell the little one that I didn't want to have it get damaged so we needed to leave it in the room where it was safe.
Thought we were going to have to call the cops on her for both non-payment and child welfare issues. I probably should've, but I didn't want to upset her anymore, the little one that is.
At least the bitch had the common sense, which she obviously doesn't have much of, to bring the girls inside to stay warm while she was trying to find money. Money finally arrived and she got into the room for one more night. However, ran late on checking out in the morning.
I had left instructions for the night auditor to just call the police if she called the front desk about her mom being gone again and to also call me so I could keep the little one calm until they arrived. My phone didn't ring, so either she wasn't working or the girls didn't wake up.
The things that could've happened to this girl because mom wasn't there is just awful to think about. And if she comes back to the hotel, which apparently she's stayed with us a lot before, I'm going to try to keep tabs on the girls. And if she bolts again, the police will be called. I just can't handle people who don't take care of their kids.
You just don't leave little ones by themselves. She was lucky that she wasn't staying at some flea bag, rent by the hour, dump to where who knows who would've showed up. I'm still pissed off. And if I see that bitch again, and the girls aren't with her, I'm so going to lay into her. It'd be worth the write-up from the boss.
My god, kids disappear in situations where they are left alone. Just last fall there was a little boy, a toddler, who disappeared when the mom left him in the car while she took the older girl with her to get "gas". No one has seen him since. I almost wonder if that bitch was related to the bitch from Friday. Can you say Kaylee Anthony in the missing toddlers case? And that woman hasn't even talked to the police since the first report of him being missing. And this bitch from Friday put her little girl into a compromising position as well.
My god. I can't even give mine away, of course they aren't cute and little anymore, but The Boy can change a light bulb without a step-stool. He's that tall. He is for sale or rent to own, however, who ever takes him cannot return him. Sorry no returns.
So listen people. Don't leave your kids unattended. Just don't do it. Nope. Not at all. Never. Or you just might hear the riot act from me.
Of course we are slammed in the restaurant. Its usually not slow on days they need me to play manager. But as the supervisor on duty, that's what I am. So I had to leave the floor to my server, who thank god was working that day as we were so busy, and go to the room. This poor little girl was hysterical. When I got there, I introduced myself to her so she would open the door. I told her that she could wait for mom in the restaurant with me until she got back. I also introduced her to the front desk staff so she would also know them.
Because the mom hadn't paid, her key didn't work, and the little girl was supposed to be there to let her in through the window. Like we were going to let that happen. Thankfully she calmed down once we left the room. What kinda of idiot leaves a 7 year old in the room? On our way to the restaurant, guess who had just come back into the hotel with her other little one? Yup, the mom of the year. I so wanted to read her the riot act right there, but I didn't want to upset the girl.
So back to work I go. Checked on things. Everything in the restaurant was ok, so I went for a walk around the building to smoke and to make sure that this
Now she did ask us if the older one could go get her coat out of the room. We weren't going to let her get cold outside, so we let her in to get it. She also asked if she could get her sisters blanket, so we got that too. But I drew the line at letting her get her mommy's computer. Not going to get the most expensive items out of the room so she could skip. I did have to tell the little one that I didn't want to have it get damaged so we needed to leave it in the room where it was safe.
Thought we were going to have to call the cops on her for both non-payment and child welfare issues. I probably should've, but I didn't want to upset her anymore, the little one that is.
At least the bitch had the common sense, which she obviously doesn't have much of, to bring the girls inside to stay warm while she was trying to find money. Money finally arrived and she got into the room for one more night. However, ran late on checking out in the morning.
I had left instructions for the night auditor to just call the police if she called the front desk about her mom being gone again and to also call me so I could keep the little one calm until they arrived. My phone didn't ring, so either she wasn't working or the girls didn't wake up.
The things that could've happened to this girl because mom wasn't there is just awful to think about. And if she comes back to the hotel, which apparently she's stayed with us a lot before, I'm going to try to keep tabs on the girls. And if she bolts again, the police will be called. I just can't handle people who don't take care of their kids.
You just don't leave little ones by themselves. She was lucky that she wasn't staying at some flea bag, rent by the hour, dump to where who knows who would've showed up. I'm still pissed off. And if I see that bitch again, and the girls aren't with her, I'm so going to lay into her. It'd be worth the write-up from the boss.
My god, kids disappear in situations where they are left alone. Just last fall there was a little boy, a toddler, who disappeared when the mom left him in the car while she took the older girl with her to get "gas". No one has seen him since. I almost wonder if that bitch was related to the bitch from Friday. Can you say Kaylee Anthony in the missing toddlers case? And that woman hasn't even talked to the police since the first report of him being missing. And this bitch from Friday put her little girl into a compromising position as well.
My god. I can't even give mine away, of course they aren't cute and little anymore, but The Boy can change a light bulb without a step-stool. He's that tall. He is for sale or rent to own, however, who ever takes him cannot return him. Sorry no returns.
So listen people. Don't leave your kids unattended. Just don't do it. Nope. Not at all. Never. Or you just might hear the riot act from me.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Never piss off your bartender
Never. Ever. Piss off your bartender. It won't get you anywhere. Don't argue with them, you will not win. You'll just make you look like a bigger ass that you are. Seriously.
So the last two weekends have just been absolutely awful. Ok, not every part of them. Just parts.
For example, last Sunday night was the end of a trade show at the convention center near the hotel. Now there were a couple of prima-donas at this show. Typical for any big group. There is always a couple that makes the whole group look difficult. But the real fun started around 10:30 that night.
There was this guy who came into the bar. Now as he seemed like he knew the people from the group I had thought that he was a part of them. Wrong. He apparently "was the lead singer for some local band". Now this guy wasn't the lead singer for REO Speedwagon, he was in there the previous weekend. I gave the fucktard a drink, he didn't seem all that messed up at that point. But when I had come down from the kitchen with a food order, he was being all sorts of rude to the lady at the bar.
You don't do that. Never. Ever. If you want to be an ass, do it at another bar.
So as he was both being an ass, and appearing intoxicated, I think that one drink kinda pushed it over the edge, I cut him off. Period. The end.
But no. This idiot had to argue with me about it. Tried to tell me that he wasn't fucked up, and therefore there was no need to cut him off. Yeah right. When you use that argument, you need to be cut off.
When I tried to tell him that he wasn't going to get anything else to drink. He continued the argument. Told me that if I was in Chicago, I wouldn't have to worry about cutting him off, I wouldn't lose my job for over serving. Yeah right. Guess what asshole? We aren't in Chicago. Besides, the bartender is the one in charge here, not you.
So he proceeded to call me a pussy for not standing up to the government and to just serve him another.
What the fuck? Really? Call me a pussy? Yeah, that'll get you a drink for sure.
Don't argue with the bartender, you will not win. Oh, and don't call them names either. Won't get you anywhere.
Luckily on of our night auditors happened to be doing a walk around during this. And so when I told this idiot for the umpteenth time that he was cut off, my auditor/security dude, came to the bar to play bad cop.
It took threatening to call the cops to get this guy out of the bar. But who knows, maybe he liked the threat of handcuffs.
When I told the boss about this, the first thing I was asked was if I clocked him. Now as much as I wanted to, I didn't. I didn't want to lose my job or break a nail. As breaking a nail would've really pissed me off.
So in a nutshell, don't piss off your bartender. Don't insult other customers at the bar. And, one more thing. Just because your short, leave the Chihuahua syndrome at home. We don't allow little dogs there.
So the last two weekends have just been absolutely awful. Ok, not every part of them. Just parts.
For example, last Sunday night was the end of a trade show at the convention center near the hotel. Now there were a couple of prima-donas at this show. Typical for any big group. There is always a couple that makes the whole group look difficult. But the real fun started around 10:30 that night.
There was this guy who came into the bar. Now as he seemed like he knew the people from the group I had thought that he was a part of them. Wrong. He apparently "was the lead singer for some local band". Now this guy wasn't the lead singer for REO Speedwagon, he was in there the previous weekend. I gave the fucktard a drink, he didn't seem all that messed up at that point. But when I had come down from the kitchen with a food order, he was being all sorts of rude to the lady at the bar.
You don't do that. Never. Ever. If you want to be an ass, do it at another bar.
So as he was both being an ass, and appearing intoxicated, I think that one drink kinda pushed it over the edge, I cut him off. Period. The end.
But no. This idiot had to argue with me about it. Tried to tell me that he wasn't fucked up, and therefore there was no need to cut him off. Yeah right. When you use that argument, you need to be cut off.
When I tried to tell him that he wasn't going to get anything else to drink. He continued the argument. Told me that if I was in Chicago, I wouldn't have to worry about cutting him off, I wouldn't lose my job for over serving. Yeah right. Guess what asshole? We aren't in Chicago. Besides, the bartender is the one in charge here, not you.
So he proceeded to call me a pussy for not standing up to the government and to just serve him another.
What the fuck? Really? Call me a pussy? Yeah, that'll get you a drink for sure.
Don't argue with the bartender, you will not win. Oh, and don't call them names either. Won't get you anywhere.
Luckily on of our night auditors happened to be doing a walk around during this. And so when I told this idiot for the umpteenth time that he was cut off, my auditor/security dude, came to the bar to play bad cop.
It took threatening to call the cops to get this guy out of the bar. But who knows, maybe he liked the threat of handcuffs.
When I told the boss about this, the first thing I was asked was if I clocked him. Now as much as I wanted to, I didn't. I didn't want to lose my job or break a nail. As breaking a nail would've really pissed me off.
So in a nutshell, don't piss off your bartender. Don't insult other customers at the bar. And, one more thing. Just because your short, leave the Chihuahua syndrome at home. We don't allow little dogs there.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
What not to wear....
You ever feel like you have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear? Well, apparently I did. Really did. I decided today that I would start weeding out the stuff I don't want in the closet. Ok, project started. Donation pile started. Then comes trouble. No, not in the form of the show What Not To Wear. It was in the form of an 18yo girl.
Yes, Shortie decided to come in and help. Which wasn't too bad.
Except for the following comments:
OMG, what decade was this from?
Shoulder pads? You've got to be kidding.
That's so 80's.
That only looked good in the 90's.
Really, that came from the early 2000's, ew.
And one of my favorites: Really, this was 'in' during the 80's. Did no one have any fashion sense?
Well, we managed to fill 8 donation bags so far, the dresser has yet to be tackled, and 2 garbage bags with wire hangers, and things with bad elastic. I know, don't hang your clothes on wire hangers. Damn Mommy Dearest.
And with what is left of the business clothes, I get asked "how come you don't wear this more often?". Well darling, I'm a bartender, I wear black head-to-toe, and I really don't want to wear business clothes on my days off. Jeans and t-shirts are fine with me. The nice stuff is saved for if there is something more important than running errands. Besides, skirts and the like, would require pantyhose. And may I say "ew" to that. If I need to, I'll do it. But not for Target. Jeez.
Of course, now we have to go shopping for clothes now. Which I'm actually not that fond of doing anymore. Ok, its not that bad, sometimes. Until, that is, you find something you like but either looks awful when not on the hanger or the 18yo says "ew".
Yes, Shortie decided to come in and help. Which wasn't too bad.
Except for the following comments:
OMG, what decade was this from?
Shoulder pads? You've got to be kidding.
That's so 80's.
That only looked good in the 90's.
Really, that came from the early 2000's, ew.
And one of my favorites: Really, this was 'in' during the 80's. Did no one have any fashion sense?
Well, we managed to fill 8 donation bags so far, the dresser has yet to be tackled, and 2 garbage bags with wire hangers, and things with bad elastic. I know, don't hang your clothes on wire hangers. Damn Mommy Dearest.
And with what is left of the business clothes, I get asked "how come you don't wear this more often?". Well darling, I'm a bartender, I wear black head-to-toe, and I really don't want to wear business clothes on my days off. Jeans and t-shirts are fine with me. The nice stuff is saved for if there is something more important than running errands. Besides, skirts and the like, would require pantyhose. And may I say "ew" to that. If I need to, I'll do it. But not for Target. Jeez.
Of course, now we have to go shopping for clothes now. Which I'm actually not that fond of doing anymore. Ok, its not that bad, sometimes. Until, that is, you find something you like but either looks awful when not on the hanger or the 18yo says "ew".
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Back to work... trying to get into the swing of things
Well, after surviving Norwescon, I'm back to work. What an adjustment after being gone for a whole week. Its been interesting trying to get my balancing skills back, who knew how heavy those trays really are after you've taken some time off. I must be getting weak. Note to self, hit the workout room at next con.
And thank god its baseball season, I'm so sick of basketball. I know its getting into the playoffs, but let it end already.
Ok, so I'm not a sports nut, but I have watched more sports in the last 3+ years than I probably have in my whole life. However, I've decided that I really only like football and baseball. I understand those. They make sense.
Baseball - Hit little ball, run like hell while hoping no one catches the damn thing.
Football - Keep ball away from other team while hoping not to get run over by other team.
Basic, right? Umps and refs to keep it relatively calm, occasional fight does break out.
Unlike some sports where fighting seems to be the objective. Such as hockey. As they say, you go to a fight and a hockey game breaks out. I don't get it. You are playing a sport that is just already damn dangerous. You've got really sharp blades on your feet, big ass sticks in your hands, and a little black thing that goes damn fast, and now you want to throw punches? Just don't get it. Guys, if you want to experience that much pain, do a bikini wax. Its less bloody and you get to keep all your teeth.
I must be tired from working. How does one go from getting back to work to waxing instead of hockey? Maybe I just need a beer.
And thank god its baseball season, I'm so sick of basketball. I know its getting into the playoffs, but let it end already.
Ok, so I'm not a sports nut, but I have watched more sports in the last 3+ years than I probably have in my whole life. However, I've decided that I really only like football and baseball. I understand those. They make sense.
Baseball - Hit little ball, run like hell while hoping no one catches the damn thing.
Football - Keep ball away from other team while hoping not to get run over by other team.
Basic, right? Umps and refs to keep it relatively calm, occasional fight does break out.
Unlike some sports where fighting seems to be the objective. Such as hockey. As they say, you go to a fight and a hockey game breaks out. I don't get it. You are playing a sport that is just already damn dangerous. You've got really sharp blades on your feet, big ass sticks in your hands, and a little black thing that goes damn fast, and now you want to throw punches? Just don't get it. Guys, if you want to experience that much pain, do a bikini wax. Its less bloody and you get to keep all your teeth.
I must be tired from working. How does one go from getting back to work to waxing instead of hockey? Maybe I just need a beer.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Norwescon - Days 2, 3 and beyond
As you can tell, I was obviously having too much fun to do an update on the rest of the weekend until now.
I woke up on Friday feeling much better. The only issues Friday morning were: Dipshit kitty (aka Stickers) decided to pee on my bed while I was sleeping (thank god it didn't go all the way to the mattress. Bless the housekeeper who got me all new bedding really quick). I clogged the toilet emptying the litter box, who knew that particular brand of clumping litter wasn't flushable. Got The Boy a roll away bed, for a small fee per night, because the people who wanted me to put the air mattress in the car didn't check for the pump and never told me that we didn't have it.
Finally got to attend some panels that day. Yay. Although the panels this year weren't quite as interesting to me as other years, they weren't too bad. That afternoon my good friend (who we will call T) arrived with her husband S, and their son S2. First con for them, we got to initiate them properly into the convention. Of course the hotel helped with that as well. Room not ready, no parking immediately available. Ah, the wonderful part of con that no one likes.
T's son, S2, wanted to attend a panel (seminar like thing, usually they are an hour long or so), but as it was Flirting 101 and 18+ he couldn't go. However, there was a zombie themed panel in the next room that he got to attend and loved it. I was so glad about that as I didn't want to have him to not have fun.
Friday night, Red found T some costumes to borrow. Luckily they are almost the same size. And it looked amazing on her. As I told T later, you can always find something to borrow from our group, there is enough costumes for a week between all the girls.
The dances were not as good as previous years, and I'm not sure where they are going with the programming of these but they need to fix it. However, the Friday dance was delayed due to the Fannish Fetish Fashion Show. Yes, its like it sounds. The con used to have it in a different room, however this year they had it in the ballrooms where the dance is. So needless to say, we went back to my room for a little refreshment. Liquid style, of course.
By the time we got back to the dance, they had already played The Time Warp, before midnight even (where the hell are they getting these dj's anyway). This should NEVER be played before midnight, jeez what were they thinking. When we walked in they were in the middle of Rasputin. For those of you not in the loop, its a old song by Boney M about Rasputin, but the dance is done with everyone in a circle doing a chorus line type fast kick. While this is going on, there usually is a performance by people who can do the Russian style kick where you are almost on the ground while kicking (I DON'T do this as I wouldn't be able to get up at all for a long time after that). Then usually people who are in the center pull audience members out to do a festive style dance. And guess who got pulled out? That's right T did, by Red no less. Welcome to con T.
Now the cats were fairly freaked out during Thursday and the first part of Friday, but Stickers came out from under the bed and was social with T and her hubby. Which was nice.
Back to the room, time to crash... Got to wake up on Saturday with no kitty presents on the bed. Yay. Still never enough sleep at this event.
Saturday started. Damn T & S were up early, but they did make a panel or two that I had wanted to go to but just couldn't move that quickly in the morning. It also doesn't help that the people who share my room, The Boy and Shortie, tend to sleep somewhat late in the morning so its dark and hard to get moving. Enough coffee, a little Jameson and I was ready to start my day. Hey, don't judge, its happy hour somewhere.
I went to a couple of panels, refilled the special coffee, and then wandered. Checked on my art auction pieces, ok still top bidder. Met up with T & S at the autograph signing where a friend of mine that I had met at Paizocon at work last year, was signing his books. As he is an author I will mention his name, Clinton Boomer, so if you are reading this, it was so awesome to run into you and thank you so much for the book. When can we expect another one???
After running around, and getting nowhere near the pics I wanted to get (which seems to be fewer each year), landed back in the room where Shortie was doing homework. Ended up falling asleep and missing the deadline to check again on my art pieces to see if I needed to up the bids. Woke up to a person knocking on my door looking for the pet/slave auction. The part that confused me was that they had mentioned a name that was the same as one of Shorties friends so it took me a minute or so to figure out that he wanted the room across the hall. Nothing like having the IBT (Intergalactic Bank of Timbuktu) across the hall, really nice group of people though.
Then I got this brilliant idea of wearing a costume that requires assistance just to put on. So I had to call T with a call to come rescue me, then I had to explain to her that I needed to have her tie me up. Yes, this is one of the few places that you can call a friend to come tie you up and they don't bring ropes.
Got tied, and costume fixed, went to dance. A little better on Saturday, but not like they've been at all. However, we got to initiate T to not only The Time Warp, but also Sweet Transvestite. If you aren't familiar with these, please grab a group of people and watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And then take that jump to the left.....
Now I did get shocked and surprised at the dance. A teacher from Hogwarts asked me if there were any underage students that he could torture. Of course, I didn't realize who the hell I was talking to. It was a dear friend of mine that I have known for years. But he had shaved off the goatee, damn he looks so different without it. But he did look kinda like Professor Snape.
Rescued one of the girls from our group, got rid of the heels (what the hell was I thinking not bringing flats that weren't slippers), got another drink (isn't it happy hour somewhere?), and went to find T & S. Thought they went to their room, so Shortie and I went to see them. No answer. What in the world are they doing asleep at almost 2am? Went back our room, got something to eat and watched Dan Savage on MTV. Who knew that there was informational TV like that on after 2am on the TV?
So unfortunately Sunday rolled around. I never like Sunday, the weekend always ends too quickly. Its kinda sad as some of your friends you only see once a year, even the ones who live locally.
I went to see if I won any of the pieces I bid on, and sadly I lost 2 of them. But 1 of 3 isn't too bad. I have our memberships for next year. Get to book rooms next week. Is it con 2013 yet?
Here are some pics of prior Norwescons, I haven't gotten the pics from this year of the phone and on to the computer yet, will soon. But this will give you an idea of the fun we have.
I woke up on Friday feeling much better. The only issues Friday morning were: Dipshit kitty (aka Stickers) decided to pee on my bed while I was sleeping (thank god it didn't go all the way to the mattress. Bless the housekeeper who got me all new bedding really quick). I clogged the toilet emptying the litter box, who knew that particular brand of clumping litter wasn't flushable. Got The Boy a roll away bed, for a small fee per night, because the people who wanted me to put the air mattress in the car didn't check for the pump and never told me that we didn't have it.
Finally got to attend some panels that day. Yay. Although the panels this year weren't quite as interesting to me as other years, they weren't too bad. That afternoon my good friend (who we will call T) arrived with her husband S, and their son S2. First con for them, we got to initiate them properly into the convention. Of course the hotel helped with that as well. Room not ready, no parking immediately available. Ah, the wonderful part of con that no one likes.
T's son, S2, wanted to attend a panel (seminar like thing, usually they are an hour long or so), but as it was Flirting 101 and 18+ he couldn't go. However, there was a zombie themed panel in the next room that he got to attend and loved it. I was so glad about that as I didn't want to have him to not have fun.
Friday night, Red found T some costumes to borrow. Luckily they are almost the same size. And it looked amazing on her. As I told T later, you can always find something to borrow from our group, there is enough costumes for a week between all the girls.
The dances were not as good as previous years, and I'm not sure where they are going with the programming of these but they need to fix it. However, the Friday dance was delayed due to the Fannish Fetish Fashion Show. Yes, its like it sounds. The con used to have it in a different room, however this year they had it in the ballrooms where the dance is. So needless to say, we went back to my room for a little refreshment. Liquid style, of course.
By the time we got back to the dance, they had already played The Time Warp, before midnight even (where the hell are they getting these dj's anyway). This should NEVER be played before midnight, jeez what were they thinking. When we walked in they were in the middle of Rasputin. For those of you not in the loop, its a old song by Boney M about Rasputin, but the dance is done with everyone in a circle doing a chorus line type fast kick. While this is going on, there usually is a performance by people who can do the Russian style kick where you are almost on the ground while kicking (I DON'T do this as I wouldn't be able to get up at all for a long time after that). Then usually people who are in the center pull audience members out to do a festive style dance. And guess who got pulled out? That's right T did, by Red no less. Welcome to con T.
Now the cats were fairly freaked out during Thursday and the first part of Friday, but Stickers came out from under the bed and was social with T and her hubby. Which was nice.
Back to the room, time to crash... Got to wake up on Saturday with no kitty presents on the bed. Yay. Still never enough sleep at this event.
Saturday started. Damn T & S were up early, but they did make a panel or two that I had wanted to go to but just couldn't move that quickly in the morning. It also doesn't help that the people who share my room, The Boy and Shortie, tend to sleep somewhat late in the morning so its dark and hard to get moving. Enough coffee, a little Jameson and I was ready to start my day. Hey, don't judge, its happy hour somewhere.
I went to a couple of panels, refilled the special coffee, and then wandered. Checked on my art auction pieces, ok still top bidder. Met up with T & S at the autograph signing where a friend of mine that I had met at Paizocon at work last year, was signing his books. As he is an author I will mention his name, Clinton Boomer, so if you are reading this, it was so awesome to run into you and thank you so much for the book. When can we expect another one???
After running around, and getting nowhere near the pics I wanted to get (which seems to be fewer each year), landed back in the room where Shortie was doing homework. Ended up falling asleep and missing the deadline to check again on my art pieces to see if I needed to up the bids. Woke up to a person knocking on my door looking for the pet/slave auction. The part that confused me was that they had mentioned a name that was the same as one of Shorties friends so it took me a minute or so to figure out that he wanted the room across the hall. Nothing like having the IBT (Intergalactic Bank of Timbuktu) across the hall, really nice group of people though.
Then I got this brilliant idea of wearing a costume that requires assistance just to put on. So I had to call T with a call to come rescue me, then I had to explain to her that I needed to have her tie me up. Yes, this is one of the few places that you can call a friend to come tie you up and they don't bring ropes.
Got tied, and costume fixed, went to dance. A little better on Saturday, but not like they've been at all. However, we got to initiate T to not only The Time Warp, but also Sweet Transvestite. If you aren't familiar with these, please grab a group of people and watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And then take that jump to the left.....
Now I did get shocked and surprised at the dance. A teacher from Hogwarts asked me if there were any underage students that he could torture. Of course, I didn't realize who the hell I was talking to. It was a dear friend of mine that I have known for years. But he had shaved off the goatee, damn he looks so different without it. But he did look kinda like Professor Snape.
Rescued one of the girls from our group, got rid of the heels (what the hell was I thinking not bringing flats that weren't slippers), got another drink (isn't it happy hour somewhere?), and went to find T & S. Thought they went to their room, so Shortie and I went to see them. No answer. What in the world are they doing asleep at almost 2am? Went back our room, got something to eat and watched Dan Savage on MTV. Who knew that there was informational TV like that on after 2am on the TV?
So unfortunately Sunday rolled around. I never like Sunday, the weekend always ends too quickly. Its kinda sad as some of your friends you only see once a year, even the ones who live locally.
I went to see if I won any of the pieces I bid on, and sadly I lost 2 of them. But 1 of 3 isn't too bad. I have our memberships for next year. Get to book rooms next week. Is it con 2013 yet?
Here are some pics of prior Norwescons, I haven't gotten the pics from this year of the phone and on to the computer yet, will soon. But this will give you an idea of the fun we have.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Day 1 - Norwescon
The kids and I attend a sci-fi/fantasy convention every year called Norwescon. Its a conglomeration of all sorts of sci-fi (Star Trek, Star Wars, etc.) and fantasy stuff like renfair things, vampires, monsters, dragons, and anything else you can think of.
So far, I have run into the usual friends, and even one that was at Paizocon, which is a gaming convention held at where I work until this year. Paizocon has outgrown our hotel space so I won't be seeing them unless I stop by after work at the hotel they are at.
Bar is open. Drinks have been poured. Cookies have been found. Cats are hiding, I don't think they really enjoyed leaving the house, but they needed to be taken care of. I've never heard Stickers whine quite so much as she did in the car today. She thinks that's bad, wait until the leash and harness come out.
But alas, the night ended on a sad note. No matter what I wore or how hot the room was I couldn't get warmed up. Then while getting something off the floor my ear started to hurt. Lovely, I hope its not the start of an ear infection.
Going to bed now, will post this tomorrow. Take care all, and remember...
Its just a jump to the left.....
So far, I have run into the usual friends, and even one that was at Paizocon, which is a gaming convention held at where I work until this year. Paizocon has outgrown our hotel space so I won't be seeing them unless I stop by after work at the hotel they are at.
Bar is open. Drinks have been poured. Cookies have been found. Cats are hiding, I don't think they really enjoyed leaving the house, but they needed to be taken care of. I've never heard Stickers whine quite so much as she did in the car today. She thinks that's bad, wait until the leash and harness come out.
But alas, the night ended on a sad note. No matter what I wore or how hot the room was I couldn't get warmed up. Then while getting something off the floor my ear started to hurt. Lovely, I hope its not the start of an ear infection.
Going to bed now, will post this tomorrow. Take care all, and remember...
Its just a jump to the left.....
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
There's a sticker on Stickers butt
Shortie and I did some shopping today. Got some stuff for con, the house, and of course, con stuff for Stickers. As you know, we will be taking her with us this year. And therefore she needs her own con gear, BJ isn't being tortured given any con gear as he won't be leaving the room.
The perfect con-kitty needs her own leash, got it. Black, of course. And big enough for Shortie to decorate with thingies for next year, providing the cat lets us live after this year.
Kitty needs a collar. Done. Even has spikes. Yes, definitely con-kitty gear. And its other purpose is to stab her humans while they sleep. Note to self, remove collar from cat prior to going to bed.
Harness, got that one too. But being in true cat-like form, Stickers showed her complete disdain with our choice by "having" difficulty walking. Ok, so she waddled like it was pantyhose or something. Harness gets exchanged tomorrow for another one, as the cat model goes around the neck and she would probably do better with a dog one that doesn't.
And of course, what con-kitty couldn't leave home without is the sticker on the butt. Ok, the sticker wasn't planned for Stickers butt, but she ended up wearing one. The sticker happened to come from the harness, kinda funny when she didn't want to wear that and yet the sticker was apparently ok. The funniest words I have ever heard were from Shortie today when she said "There's a sticker on Stickers butt".
Now this poor, upset and very put out kitty was glaring at the two of us. Because not only did she have the harness on, a sticker stuck to her, but we were laughing at her. And this was after the humiliating walk to the mailbox to "test" out thebondage safety equipment for her so she could go with us to con. What she doesn't know is that she will also have to ride in a carrier to get there. Poor abused kitty. Note to self, give kitty lots of treats before bed so I don't get smothered loved to death by her.
Ah, the joys of taking cats to con. Kinda like taking a teenage girl to con, but with less luggage. If you see a black furball with a leash on and a 18yo girl chasing her down the halls, they probably belong to me. Then again, maybe they don't.
The perfect con-kitty needs her own leash, got it. Black, of course. And big enough for Shortie to decorate with thingies for next year, providing the cat lets us live after this year.
Kitty needs a collar. Done. Even has spikes. Yes, definitely con-kitty gear. And its other purpose is to stab her humans while they sleep. Note to self, remove collar from cat prior to going to bed.
Harness, got that one too. But being in true cat-like form, Stickers showed her complete disdain with our choice by "having" difficulty walking. Ok, so she waddled like it was pantyhose or something. Harness gets exchanged tomorrow for another one, as the cat model goes around the neck and she would probably do better with a dog one that doesn't.
And of course, what con-kitty couldn't leave home without is the sticker on the butt. Ok, the sticker wasn't planned for Stickers butt, but she ended up wearing one. The sticker happened to come from the harness, kinda funny when she didn't want to wear that and yet the sticker was apparently ok. The funniest words I have ever heard were from Shortie today when she said "There's a sticker on Stickers butt".
Now this poor, upset and very put out kitty was glaring at the two of us. Because not only did she have the harness on, a sticker stuck to her, but we were laughing at her. And this was after the humiliating walk to the mailbox to "test" out the
Ah, the joys of taking cats to con. Kinda like taking a teenage girl to con, but with less luggage. If you see a black furball with a leash on and a 18yo girl chasing her down the halls, they probably belong to me. Then again, maybe they don't.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Beware... pussycats are invading Norwescon
What do you do when you have an old cat (who can only eat wet food) and have no one to take care of him while you go to Norwescon? What else? You take him with you, of course. And then what do you do with the dipshit kitty (aka Stickers) who will be lonely without him? Bring her too.
This is going to be a very interesting convention.
First of all, these are indoor kitties. Although dipshit likes to go outside for "supervised" playtime, and she will go down the stairs, but the minute a car goes through the parking lot and playtime is done. She is at the door with wide eyes, crying to be let in. So we are taking this cat with us,as well. I must be insane.
Now Shortie is so excited about this, as we have to get a leash and harness for the furball. Of course, according to her, it must have spikes or be able to be modified into something steampunkish. Conkitteh on the attack. I hope I bring enough alcohol for this.
Take one 18yo girl, one freaked out kitty, add a little steampunk costuming, and you have instant fun. Not for Stickers, though. Girl yes, cat no.
I was also informed that said girl would be taking the kitty out into the crowds (there will be about 3,000 people attending) and asking if people would like to pet her pussy. Get your minds out of the gutter, she will be handing them the cat while she is asking this. We are talking about cats, the four-legged kind. Now where did I put the booze?
BJ will be hiding under a bed the whole time, and I don't even want to take him into the lobby as it'll probably give him a heartattack. He's a big wuss, which is ok. At least under the bed he will be safe from Shortie and her adventures.
And then there will be the issue of housekeeping. Poor Stickers will have to stay crated so they don't accidentally let her out. Unless I can convince her to stay under the bed with BJ, which might be possible if Shortie takes her out and about on Thurs.
The complications that I didn't even think of when I decided to bring them. Am I going to have enough booze for this?
Yes, this will be my vacation, and my time to party. Which is why we stay at the hotel vs. driving the 10 min. from home to go to it. No worries about DUI's, easy changing for the girls, no fighting for parking. The only worry I'm going to have is, have we lost a pussy at con. And yes, that is another line she is pondering if Red has the kitty, the "have you seen my pussy?" line. Get your minds back out of the gutter, she's talking about a cat for gods sake. Jeez. Some peoples kids.
But that's my girls. It makes me proud. I just hope they don't say that near me, because I won't be able to stop laughing.
I'll keep you posted how the cat adventure went after con. And for those of you who are attending, feel free to ask her if she knows where her pussy(cat) is. Back out of the gutter, jeez.
This is going to be a very interesting convention.
First of all, these are indoor kitties. Although dipshit likes to go outside for "supervised" playtime, and she will go down the stairs, but the minute a car goes through the parking lot and playtime is done. She is at the door with wide eyes, crying to be let in. So we are taking this cat with us,as well. I must be insane.
Now Shortie is so excited about this, as we have to get a leash and harness for the furball. Of course, according to her, it must have spikes or be able to be modified into something steampunkish. Conkitteh on the attack. I hope I bring enough alcohol for this.
Take one 18yo girl, one freaked out kitty, add a little steampunk costuming, and you have instant fun. Not for Stickers, though. Girl yes, cat no.
I was also informed that said girl would be taking the kitty out into the crowds (there will be about 3,000 people attending) and asking if people would like to pet her pussy. Get your minds out of the gutter, she will be handing them the cat while she is asking this. We are talking about cats, the four-legged kind. Now where did I put the booze?
BJ will be hiding under a bed the whole time, and I don't even want to take him into the lobby as it'll probably give him a heartattack. He's a big wuss, which is ok. At least under the bed he will be safe from Shortie and her adventures.
And then there will be the issue of housekeeping. Poor Stickers will have to stay crated so they don't accidentally let her out. Unless I can convince her to stay under the bed with BJ, which might be possible if Shortie takes her out and about on Thurs.
The complications that I didn't even think of when I decided to bring them. Am I going to have enough booze for this?
Yes, this will be my vacation, and my time to party. Which is why we stay at the hotel vs. driving the 10 min. from home to go to it. No worries about DUI's, easy changing for the girls, no fighting for parking. The only worry I'm going to have is, have we lost a pussy at con. And yes, that is another line she is pondering if Red has the kitty, the "have you seen my pussy?" line. Get your minds back out of the gutter, she's talking about a cat for gods sake. Jeez. Some peoples kids.
But that's my girls. It makes me proud. I just hope they don't say that near me, because I won't be able to stop laughing.
I'll keep you posted how the cat adventure went after con. And for those of you who are attending, feel free to ask her if she knows where her pussy(cat) is. Back out of the gutter, jeez.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
The craziest things happen at work
Ok, I work in a hotel restaurant/bar, so you tend to see some really strange and unusual things. Now most of the strangness doesn't happen on the full moon, for me its always halfway between the full moons. Seriously, the nuts must be practicing on me for the full moon.
Such as one weekend last year around the end of summer, I had an experience that I was amazed I was able to keep a straight face. And trust me it was really difficult to do.
That weekend, on the Saturday night, I had a lady come into the bar in a pink velor tracksuit with a can of beer in her hand. Now the tracksuit alone should've been enough not to serve her, but I didn't hold that one against her. She had no shoes on and spilt her can of beer on the wall by the bar. I informed her that as she didn't have shoes she had to leave. Since she told me she was headed to her room, I had hope that she would stay there. She was so plastered. But no, she had to come back with flip-flops on and a beer in her hand. Damn.
She wanted a beer and a shot, so I had to inform her that due to her being obviously intoxicated I couldn't serve her. I was then informed by the "pink crazy lady", which became her nickname for the weekend that she wasn't drunk but had a bad day. I've had bad days, and I've gone out in sweats and such, but really? To a bar? To Safeway yes, but bar no. She then tried to drink her beer, which as she was drunk didn't realize that not only was the can opening on the wrong side but it was still closed.
Case closed? Not. She returned. And this time she wanted a shot of tequila, like that was going to happen. I told her I still couldn't serve her. As she was leaving, she told one of the guys at the bar (which was rather full that night) not to laugh at her as it wasn't nice. He told her he wasn't laughing at her but at the TV. Thank god we had Katt Williams on Comedy Central playing and it wasn't on a commercial when she said it or it wouldn't have been believable. On her way out she flattened herself to the wall. Because when you press yourself against the wall you become invisible. I so wish that were true. The guy she accused of laughing at her asked if she was still there and I said I could see her through her magical pink tracksuit at the wall. When she was gone I locked the doors.
So when one of the guys wanted to go out for a smoke I let him out with the door unlocked so he could get back in on the condition that he didn't let the crazy lady back in. And guess who came to smoke with him? Yup, the crazy lady. So being the nice guy he was, when he was done he told her the door was locked and he was going back to his room (through a different door). And when he came back down he hid and asked me if she was still there, of course she was. As soon as she was gone, door locked again and he returned to his drinking.
Long ass paperwork describing all this to the boss to protect my ass on this in case she complained the next day. Of course, I didn't realize she had already complained to the auditor that I "hurt her feelings" by not serving her. Just doing my job you ding-dong. Of course she apparently couldn't talk without slurring her words during this complaint.
End of Saturday, end of adventure? No, not even close. Nope. No way.
It was freaky Sunday that next night. Now, I don't mind what people do, or what their beliefs are as long as they don't hurt anyone else. I don't care if they are gay, straight, bi, trans-sexual, green, purple, from another planet. Doesn't bother me. What does bother me is having to remove a person from the hotel who is attempting to kick in a room door. The funny part of it was, she was one of two "ladies" from Vegas. Now if she was post-op or has had any cosmetic work done, she needs to talk to that surgeon, they really sucked at the work then.
I was called at the bar to assist with a 'situation' (how I hate getting a call that 'we have a situation'). This guest had yelled at the first front desk girl to approach her, was laying in the middle of the hallway when the second front desk gal went up. So I was called. As a supervisor I have rank, I suppose, but I think they'd have called me anyway. By the time I got upstairs, she was on the phone, crying and drinking a beer. She asked if I had a master key to get her into the room, and I told her if she had her ID and her name was on the room we could get her a key made. She emptied her purse looking for it, couldn't find it or the key, and when I handed her the eyeliner she had forgotten to put away, it got thrown down the hall. Ok, I was done with her at this point. I took her downstairs thinking she would go the desk, but she left to go to the restaurant next door. On her way she stopped this nice looking blonde lady, and I thought "oh god, now we'll get a complaint from a guest about a drunk person stopping them in the parking lot". As I got the door for her, asked her how her night was going, she replied with a very deep voice "ok". The roommate I thought. Ok safe on complaints there.
We locked the doors, with the instruction from me to call the police if she started causing a ruckus outside. End of story? I wish.
I get a visit about 30 - 45 minutes later from the local police at the bar. Apparently the roommate needed her removed. Jeez, what the hell did I miss now? Got her removed, tresspass order placed, all calm.
Next full moom came and went with no drama at all. What the hell? Nope, none. In fact no weird stuff for awhile.
Last month, between the full moons chaos resumed...
Friday - Had to move a guest from her original room due to fear of a abusive boyfriend. Why do they stay with us? Got her safely tucked in. Thought weekend would go smooth from here on out. Nope.
Saturday - Got to work and this lady wouldn't answer her phone, or door about a late check-out nor come down to pay for another night. Just great, but I was in a very bad mood which was so perfect to deal with a deadbeat. I went up around 2 and she told me, when she finally came to the door after about 5 minutes of standing outside the room, that she would be about 5 minutes or so to check-out. Sure you will be. So at 3pm when one of the front desk guys showed up, really big and tough looking but a giant pussycat inside, we sent him up and she said 10 minutes this time. He and I went up at 3:15 to deal with her. Got the run around, got yelled at, and finally got rid of her about 3:30.
Oh, its going to be a long weekend.
Sunday - I get a call about a 'situation'. Did I mention I really had the words "we have a situation"? There was a guy in his room playing with himself in front of the window with the drapes open. Don't you know that if you are watching porn on your laptop to close the damn drapes? If you can't impress me, I don't want to see it. If I'm impressed, I'll get a chair and some popcorn to watch the show. A guest had informed the front desk gal, and both of us tried to find the room but all the drapes were closed and we couldn't figure out which room it was. I would've called the room and told him to either impress me or close the damn drapes. We get lots of families here dumbass.
Give me a full moon weekend anytime, or just impress the hell out of me. I'll even share the popcorn to whomever wants to join me in watching the show.
Such as one weekend last year around the end of summer, I had an experience that I was amazed I was able to keep a straight face. And trust me it was really difficult to do.
That weekend, on the Saturday night, I had a lady come into the bar in a pink velor tracksuit with a can of beer in her hand. Now the tracksuit alone should've been enough not to serve her, but I didn't hold that one against her. She had no shoes on and spilt her can of beer on the wall by the bar. I informed her that as she didn't have shoes she had to leave. Since she told me she was headed to her room, I had hope that she would stay there. She was so plastered. But no, she had to come back with flip-flops on and a beer in her hand. Damn.
She wanted a beer and a shot, so I had to inform her that due to her being obviously intoxicated I couldn't serve her. I was then informed by the "pink crazy lady", which became her nickname for the weekend that she wasn't drunk but had a bad day. I've had bad days, and I've gone out in sweats and such, but really? To a bar? To Safeway yes, but bar no. She then tried to drink her beer, which as she was drunk didn't realize that not only was the can opening on the wrong side but it was still closed.
Case closed? Not. She returned. And this time she wanted a shot of tequila, like that was going to happen. I told her I still couldn't serve her. As she was leaving, she told one of the guys at the bar (which was rather full that night) not to laugh at her as it wasn't nice. He told her he wasn't laughing at her but at the TV. Thank god we had Katt Williams on Comedy Central playing and it wasn't on a commercial when she said it or it wouldn't have been believable. On her way out she flattened herself to the wall. Because when you press yourself against the wall you become invisible. I so wish that were true. The guy she accused of laughing at her asked if she was still there and I said I could see her through her magical pink tracksuit at the wall. When she was gone I locked the doors.
So when one of the guys wanted to go out for a smoke I let him out with the door unlocked so he could get back in on the condition that he didn't let the crazy lady back in. And guess who came to smoke with him? Yup, the crazy lady. So being the nice guy he was, when he was done he told her the door was locked and he was going back to his room (through a different door). And when he came back down he hid and asked me if she was still there, of course she was. As soon as she was gone, door locked again and he returned to his drinking.
Long ass paperwork describing all this to the boss to protect my ass on this in case she complained the next day. Of course, I didn't realize she had already complained to the auditor that I "hurt her feelings" by not serving her. Just doing my job you ding-dong. Of course she apparently couldn't talk without slurring her words during this complaint.
End of Saturday, end of adventure? No, not even close. Nope. No way.
It was freaky Sunday that next night. Now, I don't mind what people do, or what their beliefs are as long as they don't hurt anyone else. I don't care if they are gay, straight, bi, trans-sexual, green, purple, from another planet. Doesn't bother me. What does bother me is having to remove a person from the hotel who is attempting to kick in a room door. The funny part of it was, she was one of two "ladies" from Vegas. Now if she was post-op or has had any cosmetic work done, she needs to talk to that surgeon, they really sucked at the work then.
I was called at the bar to assist with a 'situation' (how I hate getting a call that 'we have a situation'). This guest had yelled at the first front desk girl to approach her, was laying in the middle of the hallway when the second front desk gal went up. So I was called. As a supervisor I have rank, I suppose, but I think they'd have called me anyway. By the time I got upstairs, she was on the phone, crying and drinking a beer. She asked if I had a master key to get her into the room, and I told her if she had her ID and her name was on the room we could get her a key made. She emptied her purse looking for it, couldn't find it or the key, and when I handed her the eyeliner she had forgotten to put away, it got thrown down the hall. Ok, I was done with her at this point. I took her downstairs thinking she would go the desk, but she left to go to the restaurant next door. On her way she stopped this nice looking blonde lady, and I thought "oh god, now we'll get a complaint from a guest about a drunk person stopping them in the parking lot". As I got the door for her, asked her how her night was going, she replied with a very deep voice "ok". The roommate I thought. Ok safe on complaints there.
We locked the doors, with the instruction from me to call the police if she started causing a ruckus outside. End of story? I wish.
I get a visit about 30 - 45 minutes later from the local police at the bar. Apparently the roommate needed her removed. Jeez, what the hell did I miss now? Got her removed, tresspass order placed, all calm.
Next full moom came and went with no drama at all. What the hell? Nope, none. In fact no weird stuff for awhile.
Last month, between the full moons chaos resumed...
Friday - Had to move a guest from her original room due to fear of a abusive boyfriend. Why do they stay with us? Got her safely tucked in. Thought weekend would go smooth from here on out. Nope.
Saturday - Got to work and this lady wouldn't answer her phone, or door about a late check-out nor come down to pay for another night. Just great, but I was in a very bad mood which was so perfect to deal with a deadbeat. I went up around 2 and she told me, when she finally came to the door after about 5 minutes of standing outside the room, that she would be about 5 minutes or so to check-out. Sure you will be. So at 3pm when one of the front desk guys showed up, really big and tough looking but a giant pussycat inside, we sent him up and she said 10 minutes this time. He and I went up at 3:15 to deal with her. Got the run around, got yelled at, and finally got rid of her about 3:30.
Oh, its going to be a long weekend.
Sunday - I get a call about a 'situation'. Did I mention I really had the words "we have a situation"? There was a guy in his room playing with himself in front of the window with the drapes open. Don't you know that if you are watching porn on your laptop to close the damn drapes? If you can't impress me, I don't want to see it. If I'm impressed, I'll get a chair and some popcorn to watch the show. A guest had informed the front desk gal, and both of us tried to find the room but all the drapes were closed and we couldn't figure out which room it was. I would've called the room and told him to either impress me or close the damn drapes. We get lots of families here dumbass.
Give me a full moon weekend anytime, or just impress the hell out of me. I'll even share the popcorn to whomever wants to join me in watching the show.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
I am so not technically inclined
So during a shopping trip with Shortie today, I finally got a Kindle. The store we went to had some older ones on clearance, but as luck would have it, they had sold out. I wasn't too upset as the one I had been looking for was only $10 less than the newer model I got. I didn't even think there were more of those available anyway.
So I get home with this, and open it up. Then I had to have Shortie show me how to turn the damn thing on. Yup, this thing came with very little instructions. Don't they realize that not all of us know what the hell we are doing? Obviously not.
I don't have wireless here, basic router with wires on the ceiling so Shortie can have internet in her room. And of course, this blasted thing wants you to hook up to wireless. WTF, they obviously think everyone has wireless routers. So I hook it up to the laptop, and this screen pops up telling me to not unplug it but to eject it.
What? So now I have to go online and figure out what Kindle support says. I wish there was the section in there that actually told me what to do, but the only section I found for setup wanted you to hook up to wireless. And, the thing turned off and won't turn on again. Jeez, I'm batting a thousand at this point, and getting seriously frustrated. Where is The Boy when you need him. He's at his grandparents, torturing them for a few weeks. So I finally find a spot where to talk to a real person at customer support.
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: I can't get this thing to turn back on so I can download my books I have on my laptop.
CS: Well you need wireless to register it and to set it up.
Me: I don't have wireless, and I can't get it to turn on, but there is a light on it. (It was plugged in to the laptop still at this point.)
CS: What color is the light?
Me: Yellow
CS: Ok, hold the power button and it should turn on?
Me: Didn't do it.
CS: Push it in now and I'll tell you when to let go.
Me: Ok worked. Now how do I get the stuff off my laptop.
CS: Well, you really need wireless. You could go to anyplace that is a wireless hotspot and finish this up. Or, you can log into Amazon and do it thru the site.
Ok, that worked. And he talked me how to transfer my books, but that is going to take forever doing that one at a time. But if I take this beastie to work, I apparently can do the download there, as we have wireless.
They really need to have the Kindle for dummies instruction manual that will help those of us who aren't technical and don't have wireless. If you give me an actual instruction book, I usually can figure it out, if not I call my brother. He is the family geek squad, very computer friendly he is.
Of course, Shortie laughed at me when I had to have her read off the serial number for me. I'm sorry, I'm blind. Ok not totally blind, but I'm waiting for my new glasses which should be here next week. I broke the old pair stepping on them on Christmas Eve, and they don't like to be stepped on. Why does everything, that needs you to use the serial number to register them, make those numbers so small you almost need a damned microscope to read them? Is it just me, or is the print on things just get smaller and smaller?
Oh well, at least I finally have one, which will be good as I won't have to lug books to Norwescon this year.
Speaking of Norwescon, Shortie is so excited that we have less than 3 weeks to go. She actually starts the count down as soon as we leave it every year. I think she almost gets more excited about that than the holidays. And thank god her costumes started showing up today.
Maybe she'd be more excited about the holidays if I had one of those Elf on the Shelf thingys....
So I get home with this, and open it up. Then I had to have Shortie show me how to turn the damn thing on. Yup, this thing came with very little instructions. Don't they realize that not all of us know what the hell we are doing? Obviously not.
I don't have wireless here, basic router with wires on the ceiling so Shortie can have internet in her room. And of course, this blasted thing wants you to hook up to wireless. WTF, they obviously think everyone has wireless routers. So I hook it up to the laptop, and this screen pops up telling me to not unplug it but to eject it.
What? So now I have to go online and figure out what Kindle support says. I wish there was the section in there that actually told me what to do, but the only section I found for setup wanted you to hook up to wireless. And, the thing turned off and won't turn on again. Jeez, I'm batting a thousand at this point, and getting seriously frustrated. Where is The Boy when you need him. He's at his grandparents, torturing them for a few weeks. So I finally find a spot where to talk to a real person at customer support.
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: I can't get this thing to turn back on so I can download my books I have on my laptop.
CS: Well you need wireless to register it and to set it up.
Me: I don't have wireless, and I can't get it to turn on, but there is a light on it. (It was plugged in to the laptop still at this point.)
CS: What color is the light?
Me: Yellow
CS: Ok, hold the power button and it should turn on?
Me: Didn't do it.
CS: Push it in now and I'll tell you when to let go.
Me: Ok worked. Now how do I get the stuff off my laptop.
CS: Well, you really need wireless. You could go to anyplace that is a wireless hotspot and finish this up. Or, you can log into Amazon and do it thru the site.
Ok, that worked. And he talked me how to transfer my books, but that is going to take forever doing that one at a time. But if I take this beastie to work, I apparently can do the download there, as we have wireless.
They really need to have the Kindle for dummies instruction manual that will help those of us who aren't technical and don't have wireless. If you give me an actual instruction book, I usually can figure it out, if not I call my brother. He is the family geek squad, very computer friendly he is.
Of course, Shortie laughed at me when I had to have her read off the serial number for me. I'm sorry, I'm blind. Ok not totally blind, but I'm waiting for my new glasses which should be here next week. I broke the old pair stepping on them on Christmas Eve, and they don't like to be stepped on. Why does everything, that needs you to use the serial number to register them, make those numbers so small you almost need a damned microscope to read them? Is it just me, or is the print on things just get smaller and smaller?
Oh well, at least I finally have one, which will be good as I won't have to lug books to Norwescon this year.
Speaking of Norwescon, Shortie is so excited that we have less than 3 weeks to go. She actually starts the count down as soon as we leave it every year. I think she almost gets more excited about that than the holidays. And thank god her costumes started showing up today.
Maybe she'd be more excited about the holidays if I had one of those Elf on the Shelf thingys....
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Ghost hunting and other stuff
Ok, now I'm a firm believer that there are things out there that can't always be explained. Such as UFO's (are we really the ONLY intelligent life in the universe? Really?), Big Foot (he's probably sitting in the woods watching the "finding him" shows on Direct TV, etc.
But have you seen some of these people on the shows? Talk about idiots. Now, I'm not saying that they are idiots per se, but really? Calling up the entities and asking them to tell you to leave? Haven't any of them ever seen a slasher film? Don't they know that the person making the challenge gets axed more brutally.
No offense, I'd love to go ghost hunting. But if I ever asked a ghost to answer a question and I could actually hear it without enhancement, I'd probably thank them for their time and leave. Quickly.
Look at the Amityville Horror house. They moved in. Had their priest come to do a blessing on the new place, and he was told to "Get Out". Isn't that a sign that maybe you should find a different place to live? What do you say to guests if the house starts talking to them? Ask them to pass the salt? No thanks, if it made itself that known, I'm outta there. Most likely anyway. It might depend on if they asked how my day was, how I'd like my coffee, if I needed anyone haunted and scared. Then I probably would stay. Wouldn't that be great, come home, and have your resident spirit offer to scare the crap out of someone for you?
And speaking of idiots. Have you ever noticed in slasher films that when the characters realize they are being hunted, they run UP the stairs. WTF? And how are you supposed to escape that way? Another point on this one. Did you ever notice that its the girls, usually the blonde ones that do this? What do they have against girls? Or blondes for that matter? At least when the guys get axed, it usually is because they do something stupid like have sex in the woods, by the lake, near a graveyard. Or because they didn't leave in the only working car like a normal person would. Seriously, why would you confront a psycho in a hockey mask, who is holding a chainsaw or harpoon gun. Are you really that stupid? This is where they should be using all that athletic ability, to run the hell away.
I really do like watching the ghost hunting shows, and there are so many of them I can't remember all of the names of them. It is amazingly entertaining, sort of. This one called, Ghost Adventures, uses some kind of device that can pick up the energy in the room so the spirit can communicate without them having to look at the tape. This show is the worst for using humans to "challenge" spirits, which makes it all the more fun. One of these episodes, they are going to find a spirit who doesn't like the challenge they give them, and we will see who will be the last ghost buster standing.
And I do have to say, I love the Finding Big Foot show. Although, as I said before, I also wait for something to show up unexpectedly, such as ...Big Foot. Wouldn't it be funnier than hell to have them do a Big Foot call, and having said creature show up to tell them to shut the hell up as the hunters are disturbing his sleep. Who in their right mind would want to confront a sleep deprived Big Foot.
Not me, I'd rather confront sleep deprived teenagers. Oh wait, Big Foot probably isn't as scary.
But have you seen some of these people on the shows? Talk about idiots. Now, I'm not saying that they are idiots per se, but really? Calling up the entities and asking them to tell you to leave? Haven't any of them ever seen a slasher film? Don't they know that the person making the challenge gets axed more brutally.
No offense, I'd love to go ghost hunting. But if I ever asked a ghost to answer a question and I could actually hear it without enhancement, I'd probably thank them for their time and leave. Quickly.
Look at the Amityville Horror house. They moved in. Had their priest come to do a blessing on the new place, and he was told to "Get Out". Isn't that a sign that maybe you should find a different place to live? What do you say to guests if the house starts talking to them? Ask them to pass the salt? No thanks, if it made itself that known, I'm outta there. Most likely anyway. It might depend on if they asked how my day was, how I'd like my coffee, if I needed anyone haunted and scared. Then I probably would stay. Wouldn't that be great, come home, and have your resident spirit offer to scare the crap out of someone for you?
And speaking of idiots. Have you ever noticed in slasher films that when the characters realize they are being hunted, they run UP the stairs. WTF? And how are you supposed to escape that way? Another point on this one. Did you ever notice that its the girls, usually the blonde ones that do this? What do they have against girls? Or blondes for that matter? At least when the guys get axed, it usually is because they do something stupid like have sex in the woods, by the lake, near a graveyard. Or because they didn't leave in the only working car like a normal person would. Seriously, why would you confront a psycho in a hockey mask, who is holding a chainsaw or harpoon gun. Are you really that stupid? This is where they should be using all that athletic ability, to run the hell away.
I really do like watching the ghost hunting shows, and there are so many of them I can't remember all of the names of them. It is amazingly entertaining, sort of. This one called, Ghost Adventures, uses some kind of device that can pick up the energy in the room so the spirit can communicate without them having to look at the tape. This show is the worst for using humans to "challenge" spirits, which makes it all the more fun. One of these episodes, they are going to find a spirit who doesn't like the challenge they give them, and we will see who will be the last ghost buster standing.
And I do have to say, I love the Finding Big Foot show. Although, as I said before, I also wait for something to show up unexpectedly, such as ...Big Foot. Wouldn't it be funnier than hell to have them do a Big Foot call, and having said creature show up to tell them to shut the hell up as the hunters are disturbing his sleep. Who in their right mind would want to confront a sleep deprived Big Foot.
Not me, I'd rather confront sleep deprived teenagers. Oh wait, Big Foot probably isn't as scary.
Friday, March 16, 2012
I still don't have a house for sale
Yes, the story continues.
I received another call today about a house I don't own, and am not selling. I called the agent back and explained the situation. He was very polite and understanding about calling me by mistake. I did ask him to please contact the listing agent to get this problem fixed. Could you imagine having people show up at your house to look at it while you were in your jammies or even in the middle of some afternoon fun?
But I have come up with the perfect answer to calling any agent back. I'm going to tell them that they need to not let my pets out.
Of course, they will have to bring a raw chicken for my oversized house cat Baby, who by the way is a tiger and thinks she's a lapcat. And to not let Fluffy out, as last time he escaped he ate the neighbors cat, which the neighbor wasn't too happy about. Fluffy, you see, is a 12 foot python. Maybe this will work to get them to stop calling.
I know that sometimes pets can freak out potential buyers. Case in point. When the douchebag was trying to sell his house, he had a potential buyer refuse to go into the house as he has a chocolate lab. Now this oversized puppy (who is about 5yo give or take) who thinks she's a lapdog, is the sweetest thing on the planet and is only dangerous to squirrels who come into the yard. If fact, if you were to burglarize his place and feed her a treat, she'd help you carry everything to your vehicle. Yup, good watch dog.
And if the above doesn't work, my bartending partner in crime who we shall call Flo (as she has been told she kinda looks like the Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials) will take care of this. She is also a real estate agent and let me know that if I get the address and/or the listing agents name, she will contact them and let them know they are idiots. How are you supposed to sell a house if you can't get ahold of the seller? Haven't they heard of proof reading your ads?
As I've only gotten the one call today there might be hope that the problem has been fixed. But, alas, I'm not holding out hope on this. Maybe Baby and Fluffy need to go visit the ditz.
Disclaimer: I really don't have a tiger and a python, as they would eat the 2 cats I do have. But if I ever get a house and want to sell it, I'd see if the zoo would lend them to me.
I received another call today about a house I don't own, and am not selling. I called the agent back and explained the situation. He was very polite and understanding about calling me by mistake. I did ask him to please contact the listing agent to get this problem fixed. Could you imagine having people show up at your house to look at it while you were in your jammies or even in the middle of some afternoon fun?
But I have come up with the perfect answer to calling any agent back. I'm going to tell them that they need to not let my pets out.
Of course, they will have to bring a raw chicken for my oversized house cat Baby, who by the way is a tiger and thinks she's a lapcat. And to not let Fluffy out, as last time he escaped he ate the neighbors cat, which the neighbor wasn't too happy about. Fluffy, you see, is a 12 foot python. Maybe this will work to get them to stop calling.
I know that sometimes pets can freak out potential buyers. Case in point. When the douchebag was trying to sell his house, he had a potential buyer refuse to go into the house as he has a chocolate lab. Now this oversized puppy (who is about 5yo give or take) who thinks she's a lapdog, is the sweetest thing on the planet and is only dangerous to squirrels who come into the yard. If fact, if you were to burglarize his place and feed her a treat, she'd help you carry everything to your vehicle. Yup, good watch dog.
And if the above doesn't work, my bartending partner in crime who we shall call Flo (as she has been told she kinda looks like the Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials) will take care of this. She is also a real estate agent and let me know that if I get the address and/or the listing agents name, she will contact them and let them know they are idiots. How are you supposed to sell a house if you can't get ahold of the seller? Haven't they heard of proof reading your ads?
As I've only gotten the one call today there might be hope that the problem has been fixed. But, alas, I'm not holding out hope on this. Maybe Baby and Fluffy need to go visit the ditz.
Disclaimer: I really don't have a tiger and a python, as they would eat the 2 cats I do have. But if I ever get a house and want to sell it, I'd see if the zoo would lend them to me.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
No, I don't own a house
So today I received a phone call while out with Shortie at Dairy Queen. I haven't been there in years, and how dare some stranger interrupt it. So I check the voicemail, which normally would do when I got home. But as it was the second call in 5 minutes from someone I didn't know, I was curious. The call was from some real estate about a showing some house. Being the nice person I was this afternoon, which on Wednesday is hit and miss for me as I do the morning shift so it must have been the mint oreo blizzard, I decided to call and let the agent know they had the wrong number. She said she'd check the listing to see if maybe she either dialed wrong or they had written down the wrong number. Hopefully she found the right one.
Flash forward to this evening. As Shortie and I was running all sorts of errands, which included ordering my glasses, I didn't get a nap this afternoon and was running on 2 hours or less of sleep. So here I am finally getting my nap and I my phone goes off. It was another agent calling about the house. I was at least polite when I left a voicemail explaining I didn't have a house and to remove my number, PLEASE. Yes, I said please. So I just get back to sleep again, and his wife called. Jeez, will someone pass on the message that I DON'T OWN A HOUSE. I explained to her that it wasn't me, and she apologized for bothering me, very nice lady. Thank god I didn't get another one when I finally fell asleep again. If I was woken up again, I think I'd have lost it.
Now here is my question to y'all. Don't you think if you were the homeowner or agent, you would at least make sure the phone number was correct so you could sell the place? Is this just serious stupidity or what? I know I would make sure.
Back to why I'm so tired. I work nights closing the bar on Thurs. thru Sun. I get to sleep around 4am, as I need to wind down for awhile. BUT, one day a week, at the start of my work week, I work the morning shift which starts at 5:30am. I have to get up a 4am on those days. I had gotten a reprieve for a few months as we are slow in the winter. But we have a couple of new people so I have been training them. Now this is supposed to be temporary, but last time the temporary lasted 1 1/2 years, so I'm not holding out much hope that this will end soon.
Now you know why I'm tired.
I don't have a lot of patience for stupidity, but I apparently did today. I think it really was the ice cream. I also don't have a lot of patience for people who let their kids run around in the restaurant. I know kids will be kids, I have three of them myself, but seriously folks have them sit down. I darn near tripped over the girl as she was spinning around, which was making me dizzy just seeing this (remember when we could do that?). I almost dropped the food I was carrying to another table. Please have your kids sit, and don't give them the Frosted Flakes if you think they might get a little wound up.
I also had a family one time with some adorable kids, probably about 6 and 8. The girls were running around and got in my way, I'm sensing a trend here. So I politely told the girl I didn't want to drop her food and to please sit down. Now I know that it was very dangerous to say but I was frustrated. You never know how the parents are going to ask if you ask their "angels" to please sit down, at least I said please. As I was setting their food down she got up again. So her mom told her, now get this, "What did the lady say to you? You need to listen to her." Listen to me? I'm not the mom, you are lady and they need to listen to you. I've already raised mine, raise yours. Because if mine did that, which they did try, they'd be in serious trouble and not allowed out again until they could behave, not to mention grounded. This is why I took things for them to do when they were younger than that. I understand at least if they are toddlers, but that's what high chairs are for, detaining the darlings. At home, I'd duct tape them to the chairs (just kidding). I never had that much duct tape on hand, thought about it though.
Am I asking too much? Asking you to get your child to sit? Now not all kids are like that. I have had some amazing kids in the place. The some of the best behaved I had really expected not to be. There was a mom in there, by herself, with a 6yo, 4yo, and 2yo (I think that was their age, but I'm kinda close). I'm not sure I would have had the guts to try that with kids that age, at least not without backup. They were such quiet, polite, and non-hyper. Whatever that mom was doing it sure worked. And I told boys how great they were, and the mom to keep on doing whatever it was as it was working. The funny part is as they were there, I had another table with kids who were just out of control across the room. Talk about your night and day.
Ok, I'm starting to ramble now. Getting sleepy. Must go for the night.
Flash forward to this evening. As Shortie and I was running all sorts of errands, which included ordering my glasses, I didn't get a nap this afternoon and was running on 2 hours or less of sleep. So here I am finally getting my nap and I my phone goes off. It was another agent calling about the house. I was at least polite when I left a voicemail explaining I didn't have a house and to remove my number, PLEASE. Yes, I said please. So I just get back to sleep again, and his wife called. Jeez, will someone pass on the message that I DON'T OWN A HOUSE. I explained to her that it wasn't me, and she apologized for bothering me, very nice lady. Thank god I didn't get another one when I finally fell asleep again. If I was woken up again, I think I'd have lost it.
Now here is my question to y'all. Don't you think if you were the homeowner or agent, you would at least make sure the phone number was correct so you could sell the place? Is this just serious stupidity or what? I know I would make sure.
Back to why I'm so tired. I work nights closing the bar on Thurs. thru Sun. I get to sleep around 4am, as I need to wind down for awhile. BUT, one day a week, at the start of my work week, I work the morning shift which starts at 5:30am. I have to get up a 4am on those days. I had gotten a reprieve for a few months as we are slow in the winter. But we have a couple of new people so I have been training them. Now this is supposed to be temporary, but last time the temporary lasted 1 1/2 years, so I'm not holding out much hope that this will end soon.
Now you know why I'm tired.
I don't have a lot of patience for stupidity, but I apparently did today. I think it really was the ice cream. I also don't have a lot of patience for people who let their kids run around in the restaurant. I know kids will be kids, I have three of them myself, but seriously folks have them sit down. I darn near tripped over the girl as she was spinning around, which was making me dizzy just seeing this (remember when we could do that?). I almost dropped the food I was carrying to another table. Please have your kids sit, and don't give them the Frosted Flakes if you think they might get a little wound up.
I also had a family one time with some adorable kids, probably about 6 and 8. The girls were running around and got in my way, I'm sensing a trend here. So I politely told the girl I didn't want to drop her food and to please sit down. Now I know that it was very dangerous to say but I was frustrated. You never know how the parents are going to ask if you ask their "angels" to please sit down, at least I said please. As I was setting their food down she got up again. So her mom told her, now get this, "What did the lady say to you? You need to listen to her." Listen to me? I'm not the mom, you are lady and they need to listen to you. I've already raised mine, raise yours. Because if mine did that, which they did try, they'd be in serious trouble and not allowed out again until they could behave, not to mention grounded. This is why I took things for them to do when they were younger than that. I understand at least if they are toddlers, but that's what high chairs are for, detaining the darlings. At home, I'd duct tape them to the chairs (just kidding). I never had that much duct tape on hand, thought about it though.
Am I asking too much? Asking you to get your child to sit? Now not all kids are like that. I have had some amazing kids in the place. The some of the best behaved I had really expected not to be. There was a mom in there, by herself, with a 6yo, 4yo, and 2yo (I think that was their age, but I'm kinda close). I'm not sure I would have had the guts to try that with kids that age, at least not without backup. They were such quiet, polite, and non-hyper. Whatever that mom was doing it sure worked. And I told boys how great they were, and the mom to keep on doing whatever it was as it was working. The funny part is as they were there, I had another table with kids who were just out of control across the room. Talk about your night and day.
Ok, I'm starting to ramble now. Getting sleepy. Must go for the night.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Curbs have feelings too...
Ok, so picture this...
Its 8am (what a miserable time of day anyway), I closed the bar last night (I'm the bartender) so very little sleep, and as I'm getting ready to park the car at the dentist so the boy can have his head drilled (what 19yo boy needs more holes in his head anyway?). The boy tells me not to hit anything. Well duh? Isn't that the point of driving and parking, not hitting anything? But as usual I get too close to the curb stop and have to scrape the front of the car backing it up a bit. So now I'm in trouble with the boy for "hitting the curb, because curb's have feelings too, you know".
WTF? When did curbs get feelings? Does that mean parking stripes have feelings too? Why wasn't I informed of this? Do I have to be politically correct when parking my car now so I don't offend the stripes and curbs? Is there going to be parking police that handle the pc issues only? Parking enforcement officers have enough on their plates to worry about ticketing for hurting a curbs feelings.
What about the assholes who take up two spots when parking their truck because they can't figure out how to fit it in. Ok folks, if you can't fit it in and need two spots, either don't drive or get a smaller vehicle that you can handle.
Imagine watching this scene in the local grocery store.
Parking PC Enforcement: "I'm sorry ma'am, but you need to adjust your car as you've hurt the curbs feelings"
Shopper: "WTH? Feelings? When did curbs get damn feelings?"
PE: "They've always had feelings. We are just a more enlightened society and now recognize that. So please move the vehicle a bit."
Shopper: "Why? My feelings are now hurt by you asking me to adjust my truck/car for some stupid inanimate piece of concrete. So no, not gonna do it."
PE: "I'm not going to ask, you need to move this now."
Shopper: "No."
PE: "If you don't move it, you will be subject to either a fine or arrest."
Shopper: "Whatever. I have to get milk and stuff for dinner or I will have teenagers to deal with that are much scarier than you."
PE: (as the handcuffs come out) "You are now under arrest for violating, the current parking code number that is to be named, you have the right to remain silent..."
Shopper: "WTF? I'm going shopping. Now get the hell out of my way, and move the Segway or I'll tip it over."
See, you might as well just start building the jails now, with the special "curb offender" wing. As you know parking violators are the most violent and dangerous out there. Let them try to stop a tiny young lady in a big ass truck how to park. I want to see that.
But let me buy my popcorn and Pepsi first.
P.S. And by tiny young lady, I mean Shortie. As she wants a really big truck someday. I'm parking the Segway in the garage when she gets one.
Its 8am (what a miserable time of day anyway), I closed the bar last night (I'm the bartender) so very little sleep, and as I'm getting ready to park the car at the dentist so the boy can have his head drilled (what 19yo boy needs more holes in his head anyway?). The boy tells me not to hit anything. Well duh? Isn't that the point of driving and parking, not hitting anything? But as usual I get too close to the curb stop and have to scrape the front of the car backing it up a bit. So now I'm in trouble with the boy for "hitting the curb, because curb's have feelings too, you know".
WTF? When did curbs get feelings? Does that mean parking stripes have feelings too? Why wasn't I informed of this? Do I have to be politically correct when parking my car now so I don't offend the stripes and curbs? Is there going to be parking police that handle the pc issues only? Parking enforcement officers have enough on their plates to worry about ticketing for hurting a curbs feelings.
What about the assholes who take up two spots when parking their truck because they can't figure out how to fit it in. Ok folks, if you can't fit it in and need two spots, either don't drive or get a smaller vehicle that you can handle.
Imagine watching this scene in the local grocery store.
Parking PC Enforcement: "I'm sorry ma'am, but you need to adjust your car as you've hurt the curbs feelings"
Shopper: "WTH? Feelings? When did curbs get damn feelings?"
PE: "They've always had feelings. We are just a more enlightened society and now recognize that. So please move the vehicle a bit."
Shopper: "Why? My feelings are now hurt by you asking me to adjust my truck/car for some stupid inanimate piece of concrete. So no, not gonna do it."
PE: "I'm not going to ask, you need to move this now."
Shopper: "No."
PE: "If you don't move it, you will be subject to either a fine or arrest."
Shopper: "Whatever. I have to get milk and stuff for dinner or I will have teenagers to deal with that are much scarier than you."
PE: (as the handcuffs come out) "You are now under arrest for violating, the current parking code number that is to be named, you have the right to remain silent..."
Shopper: "WTF? I'm going shopping. Now get the hell out of my way, and move the Segway or I'll tip it over."
See, you might as well just start building the jails now, with the special "curb offender" wing. As you know parking violators are the most violent and dangerous out there. Let them try to stop a tiny young lady in a big ass truck how to park. I want to see that.
But let me buy my popcorn and Pepsi first.
P.S. And by tiny young lady, I mean Shortie. As she wants a really big truck someday. I'm parking the Segway in the garage when she gets one.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Dear Douchebag, part 2
My Dearest Douchebag,
I just realized I left a few things out.
Did you know you can have a girlfriend without "being in love"? That every "relationship" has to include being "in love"?
But whatever, you did what you did, and there is no changing that.
I'm assuming I just wasn't good enough or you wouldn't have started something with someone else while going out with me. Talk about giving a girl a complex, you seem to be very good at that.
I hope she doesn't have kids, as that seems to be a sticking point with you. Or maybe she does and mine weren't good enough for you when they were younger. Other peoples little kids have seemed to be ok, but not mine.
Also, it really fucking sucked that I had talked to you 2 days before your facebook post about a change in relationship status and you didn't mention anything about it. Seeing that first thing when I fired up facebook really sucked, especially when I had asked you if anything was new for you. And all you told me about was your change in schedule at work and, of course, the drop in pay due to the routing. You could've warned me when I talked to you. Back to the lying to me, as I had asked what was new with you.
You know, karma is a bitch. And it does come back to you. Hopefully this time it won't cost you two houses.
Try being a real friend instead of a douchebag. You have been crowned the King of the Douchebags. Wear the crown with pride, since you seem to want it so badly.
There, venting probably done.
Michelle
I just realized I left a few things out.
Did you know you can have a girlfriend without "being in love"? That every "relationship" has to include being "in love"?
But whatever, you did what you did, and there is no changing that.
I'm assuming I just wasn't good enough or you wouldn't have started something with someone else while going out with me. Talk about giving a girl a complex, you seem to be very good at that.
I hope she doesn't have kids, as that seems to be a sticking point with you. Or maybe she does and mine weren't good enough for you when they were younger. Other peoples little kids have seemed to be ok, but not mine.
Also, it really fucking sucked that I had talked to you 2 days before your facebook post about a change in relationship status and you didn't mention anything about it. Seeing that first thing when I fired up facebook really sucked, especially when I had asked you if anything was new for you. And all you told me about was your change in schedule at work and, of course, the drop in pay due to the routing. You could've warned me when I talked to you. Back to the lying to me, as I had asked what was new with you.
You know, karma is a bitch. And it does come back to you. Hopefully this time it won't cost you two houses.
There, venting probably done.
Michelle
P.S. You might want to stop being an ass or you might lose even more friends.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Dear Douchebag...
My Dearest Douchebag,
For those of you who have been wondering what I have been ranting about for the last couple of weeks, this is what it is. For those of you whom I haven't talked to about it, I really don't want to have a discussion with you either, if I change my mind I'll let you know. No names will be given, but those that know me will know who I am talking about. And hopefully the db (douchebag) will read this, but I doubt it.
You my friend are a liar and cheater. We have been friends for 13 years now, of which we were friends for 6 years before the first time we ever went out. We've been through a lot of things, we've dealt with bad relationships and commiserated about said things. So why start lying to me now. I've never lied to you, and yet you choose to lie to me.
You said it was nothing but sex. But dear, you really need to look at it again. Fwb don't act like you did.
They don't take care of you when you are sick, or hold your hair when getting sick. They don't let you stay the night and if you do, usually don't make coffee for you.
They definitely don't have you come over in the middle of the night at the butt crack of dawn, they prefer not to have their sleep disturbed.
They don't let you sleep in because you worked into the wee hours of the morning, they'd prefer you'd just leave right away.
They don't come to your work just to visit when you are one break, let alone compliment you while there, telling you they love your hair a certain way and a certain color.
They don't watch you in the doorway while you get ready to go out.
They don't hold you when you watch a movie or tv on the couch.
They don't let you hang out while waiting to pick up your teenager when you have to go run errands.
They don't let you borrow your car when its in the shop. Nor do they trust your teenager to learn how to drive a stick in the truck you just put a new transmission into.
They don't lend you money to pay for driver's ed.
They don't say that they care when having a conversation about this same status question. If you really were a fwb you wouldn't care, let alone tell me you did.
They don't spend Christmas with you at their place.
Shall I go on? I could you know. But this is just a small summary of what you've been doing for the last 1 1/2 years. Not to mention what you did for the year we went out before that.
Does the new lady know that when your ex-wife would threaten divorce you'd try to get me to sleep with you? Did you notice that I wouldn't do that until the papers were filed? Does she know that you "don't do kids"? Which is one of the reasons why we didn't got out very long the first time, that and your now ex-wife came back into the picture.
Did she even know that we were still going out when you got together with her? I hope she does realize that you really aren't that faithful.
Why when I asked you if there was someone else when you dumped me right before Christmas you lied and said it was just you not wanting me to love you? You lied to me, but I've never lied to you. If you ever asked me anything, I always gave you a straight, honest answer.
You also told me I knew the anwer, but I didn't. I wanted you to tell me what the answer really was, and you didn't. You lied.
You once told me, that by asking for an answer that I was risking any future friendship with you. Yet you lied to me. How is that my risking our long friendship? Wouldn't your lies be risking it? Or do you just prefer to blame it one someone else?
I do know why your ex left you a post-it on your computer asking for a divorce. Smart lady, flakey yes, but smart. And did you notice that when Miss Flake asked for a divorce I didn't say I told you so. I was suprised she too that long due to her leaving you after patching things up for a few months.
Yes, I did tell you to grow a set of balls and be honest. But I guess that's impossible for you, the honesty that is. If you ever want to be honest with me, you know how to find me.
There all done. I think I covered everything, if not I came pretty close to it.
Michelle
P.S. Thanks to you I'm finally losing the weight I was trying to lose (the only really good thing to come of this).
P.P.S. For those of you I haven't talked to in person about it, please don't ask, and don't gossip behind my back about it either.
For those of you who have been wondering what I have been ranting about for the last couple of weeks, this is what it is. For those of you whom I haven't talked to about it, I really don't want to have a discussion with you either, if I change my mind I'll let you know. No names will be given, but those that know me will know who I am talking about. And hopefully the db (douchebag) will read this, but I doubt it.
You my friend are a liar and cheater. We have been friends for 13 years now, of which we were friends for 6 years before the first time we ever went out. We've been through a lot of things, we've dealt with bad relationships and commiserated about said things. So why start lying to me now. I've never lied to you, and yet you choose to lie to me.
You said it was nothing but sex. But dear, you really need to look at it again. Fwb don't act like you did.
They don't take care of you when you are sick, or hold your hair when getting sick. They don't let you stay the night and if you do, usually don't make coffee for you.
They definitely don't have you come over in the middle of the night at the butt crack of dawn, they prefer not to have their sleep disturbed.
They don't let you sleep in because you worked into the wee hours of the morning, they'd prefer you'd just leave right away.
They don't come to your work just to visit when you are one break, let alone compliment you while there, telling you they love your hair a certain way and a certain color.
They don't watch you in the doorway while you get ready to go out.
They don't hold you when you watch a movie or tv on the couch.
They don't let you hang out while waiting to pick up your teenager when you have to go run errands.
They don't let you borrow your car when its in the shop. Nor do they trust your teenager to learn how to drive a stick in the truck you just put a new transmission into.
They don't lend you money to pay for driver's ed.
They don't say that they care when having a conversation about this same status question. If you really were a fwb you wouldn't care, let alone tell me you did.
They don't spend Christmas with you at their place.
Shall I go on? I could you know. But this is just a small summary of what you've been doing for the last 1 1/2 years. Not to mention what you did for the year we went out before that.
Does the new lady know that when your ex-wife would threaten divorce you'd try to get me to sleep with you? Did you notice that I wouldn't do that until the papers were filed? Does she know that you "don't do kids"? Which is one of the reasons why we didn't got out very long the first time, that and your now ex-wife came back into the picture.
Did she even know that we were still going out when you got together with her? I hope she does realize that you really aren't that faithful.
Why when I asked you if there was someone else when you dumped me right before Christmas you lied and said it was just you not wanting me to love you? You lied to me, but I've never lied to you. If you ever asked me anything, I always gave you a straight, honest answer.
You also told me I knew the anwer, but I didn't. I wanted you to tell me what the answer really was, and you didn't. You lied.
You once told me, that by asking for an answer that I was risking any future friendship with you. Yet you lied to me. How is that my risking our long friendship? Wouldn't your lies be risking it? Or do you just prefer to blame it one someone else?
I do know why your ex left you a post-it on your computer asking for a divorce. Smart lady, flakey yes, but smart. And did you notice that when Miss Flake asked for a divorce I didn't say I told you so. I was suprised she too that long due to her leaving you after patching things up for a few months.
Yes, I did tell you to grow a set of balls and be honest. But I guess that's impossible for you, the honesty that is. If you ever want to be honest with me, you know how to find me.
There all done. I think I covered everything, if not I came pretty close to it.
Michelle
P.S. Thanks to you I'm finally losing the weight I was trying to lose (the only really good thing to come of this).
P.P.S. For those of you I haven't talked to in person about it, please don't ask, and don't gossip behind my back about it either.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
WTF requiring user names and passwords for you social sites to get a job or go to a college.
Ok, I wasn't going to rant today, but I read something in the news that just pisses me off to no end. Some employers and colleges are requiring your user name and passwords to social sites to either get a job or play on a sports team. WTF. Really? This is so against the first amendment right of free speech, not to mention an invasion of privacy. Now if she wanted to work for the CIA, FBI, Homeland Security or the White House, thats a different story. And they have people that can find that out anyway without her providing any of that info to them. Yes, sometimes Big Brother is important, but going to a Naturopathic College, really?
As a mom of a college bound high school senior, I find this extremely offensive. Who the hell cares what she posted as a high school student. I'm friends with her on fb and I haven't seen anything that should stop her from getting into the college of her choice, ok a few questionable pics, but they shouldn't stop her from doing what she wants to do in life.
Come on people, lets have some common sense. I think people have lost a lot of it along the way. Such as some of the rules for schools. I had to send a note for her to give to her teacher to keep so that she could have chapstick with her in class. What is next, banning moisturizing lipstick because it is a medicine? How about midol for girls going through puberty? I wouldn't want to be anywhere near a bunch of girls on their periods without this. Talk about taking your life into your own hands. They wouldn't take guns to school, but a pissed off girl with cramps can be deadly with a ballpoint pen. I get that somethings should be held in the nurses office or other designated place, but motrin? I had to take some to her during school when she was not feeling well and couldn't give her the bottle as she could only have one dose on her. But bless that nurse, she could take a dose while in the office and then with a note allowing her to have one with her from me she could have a dose in her purse. Thank God she didn't see me slip her the bag of cough drops that Shortie hid in the back of her pants under her sweatshirt. Seriously, cough drops? Oh yeah, those go for really high prices on the schools black market.
Jeez people. The sad part is, the nurses and teachers felt that alot of those rules were stupid and took common sense out of the equation. Shit, at least we didn't have those rules when I went to school as we were always sharing tylenol and midol with each other. And that was during the extra strengh tylenol poising problem, and yet we all survived.
Which brings me to another common sense issue. Lawn darts. Anyone remember them? We had them and survived, ok sometimes barely due to our own stupidity. But if we threw them at anyone we lost them, because our parents were allowed to parent us with common sense. We even threw knives at the neighbors house, although I'm not sure my parents knew about that one. But we survived. Now some changes are for the better, such as bike helmets. We didn't have them and survived for the most part, and they have been shown to save lives, so I'm ok with that one. But thats one of the few that I've found to be a good idea. Now I never wore knee pads when skating down our hill or any of the other hills in the neighborhood, and due to some really nasty falls resulting in road rash, I almost wish we had motorcycle leathers. But I survived with no permanent scars amazingly.
Lets bring back common sense, let parents be parents and be allowed to teach your kids common sense. Now there are a lot of parents whose kids I've encountered in the apartments I've lived in should be given a course in it. I absolutely don't understand these kids that when they see a car pull in just stand in the middle of the parking lot or when they move they move to your parking spot and just look at you like "how dare you want me to move so you can park". If we did that it ended up being a game of chicken and you know who always wins in that game, usually the kids because most adults didn't want to mess up their car with kid guts. My kids learned to stay the hell out of the way as most of the other residents didn't pay attention to the speed limits or if there were kids out there. And they didn't play outside without supervision of some sort if they were under 4. Oh yeah, nothing like a 2yo out where with a 5yo sibling supervising them. This is serious darwin awards waiting to happen.
There done now. Get your common sense back as I don't worry about kid guts on the car, that's what car washes were made for. Just kidding, sort of. I don't take my car to the car wash as I'm afraid if I remove the dirt it will fall apart, so no kid guts allowed, dirt yes guts no.
As a mom of a college bound high school senior, I find this extremely offensive. Who the hell cares what she posted as a high school student. I'm friends with her on fb and I haven't seen anything that should stop her from getting into the college of her choice, ok a few questionable pics, but they shouldn't stop her from doing what she wants to do in life.
Come on people, lets have some common sense. I think people have lost a lot of it along the way. Such as some of the rules for schools. I had to send a note for her to give to her teacher to keep so that she could have chapstick with her in class. What is next, banning moisturizing lipstick because it is a medicine? How about midol for girls going through puberty? I wouldn't want to be anywhere near a bunch of girls on their periods without this. Talk about taking your life into your own hands. They wouldn't take guns to school, but a pissed off girl with cramps can be deadly with a ballpoint pen. I get that somethings should be held in the nurses office or other designated place, but motrin? I had to take some to her during school when she was not feeling well and couldn't give her the bottle as she could only have one dose on her. But bless that nurse, she could take a dose while in the office and then with a note allowing her to have one with her from me she could have a dose in her purse. Thank God she didn't see me slip her the bag of cough drops that Shortie hid in the back of her pants under her sweatshirt. Seriously, cough drops? Oh yeah, those go for really high prices on the schools black market.
Jeez people. The sad part is, the nurses and teachers felt that alot of those rules were stupid and took common sense out of the equation. Shit, at least we didn't have those rules when I went to school as we were always sharing tylenol and midol with each other. And that was during the extra strengh tylenol poising problem, and yet we all survived.
Which brings me to another common sense issue. Lawn darts. Anyone remember them? We had them and survived, ok sometimes barely due to our own stupidity. But if we threw them at anyone we lost them, because our parents were allowed to parent us with common sense. We even threw knives at the neighbors house, although I'm not sure my parents knew about that one. But we survived. Now some changes are for the better, such as bike helmets. We didn't have them and survived for the most part, and they have been shown to save lives, so I'm ok with that one. But thats one of the few that I've found to be a good idea. Now I never wore knee pads when skating down our hill or any of the other hills in the neighborhood, and due to some really nasty falls resulting in road rash, I almost wish we had motorcycle leathers. But I survived with no permanent scars amazingly.
Lets bring back common sense, let parents be parents and be allowed to teach your kids common sense. Now there are a lot of parents whose kids I've encountered in the apartments I've lived in should be given a course in it. I absolutely don't understand these kids that when they see a car pull in just stand in the middle of the parking lot or when they move they move to your parking spot and just look at you like "how dare you want me to move so you can park". If we did that it ended up being a game of chicken and you know who always wins in that game, usually the kids because most adults didn't want to mess up their car with kid guts. My kids learned to stay the hell out of the way as most of the other residents didn't pay attention to the speed limits or if there were kids out there. And they didn't play outside without supervision of some sort if they were under 4. Oh yeah, nothing like a 2yo out where with a 5yo sibling supervising them. This is serious darwin awards waiting to happen.
There done now. Get your common sense back as I don't worry about kid guts on the car, that's what car washes were made for. Just kidding, sort of. I don't take my car to the car wash as I'm afraid if I remove the dirt it will fall apart, so no kid guts allowed, dirt yes guts no.
Monday, March 5, 2012
I need to stop f*#$ing swearing... or so Shortie says
The most entertaining thing you can do when you are tired with a migraine, is to take your teenage daughter to the store with you to get groceries. Still the same typical trip, but now you dread the "am I going to have to play Marco Polo" to find her (not fun with a headache, totally funny any other time). How much extra crap am I really gonna have to get right now, but feeling so crappy you just say ok just so you can leave. And then there is the "you never listen to what I'm asking you or give me answers". Because well, I'm going down one isle to get what we need and don't have a clue where you are headed nor am I paying any attention to your location either. But my favorite thing tonight was the comment she made while standing in line to check out. "Look, they have new f*#$ing yogurt pretzels. I'm really need to f*#$ing stop swearing."
Makes a mom proud. But seriously, she's a good kid and knows what she wants out of life, so who can ask for more? And some of the stuff she comes up with is the most hilarious things I've heard.
Just don't piss her off on the road. OMG. Its a really good thing she wasn't with me while I was headed to go get her and her friend at the mall. Lets see.... Freeway 60+mph, check. Person in lane to the left of me with left blinker on, check. Said idiot to the left moves into the lane to the right so they can then move to the left lane, priceless. There are days I wish I drove a tank. Will someone please tell me when they changed the way you are supposed to change lanes? Are you now supposed to go into the opposite lane you want so that you can get a run at the one you really want? Really? WTF people. Give a girl a break, or give me a tank and a Jetsons ray gun that will make you disappear off the road. If she'd been driving, the car would've been fine but the headache would've been worse. She really is an amazing driver.
And on that, I'm calling it a night. Finding all the open windows, turning on the heat, and try to sleep.
Makes a mom proud. But seriously, she's a good kid and knows what she wants out of life, so who can ask for more? And some of the stuff she comes up with is the most hilarious things I've heard.
Just don't piss her off on the road. OMG. Its a really good thing she wasn't with me while I was headed to go get her and her friend at the mall. Lets see.... Freeway 60+mph, check. Person in lane to the left of me with left blinker on, check. Said idiot to the left moves into the lane to the right so they can then move to the left lane, priceless. There are days I wish I drove a tank. Will someone please tell me when they changed the way you are supposed to change lanes? Are you now supposed to go into the opposite lane you want so that you can get a run at the one you really want? Really? WTF people. Give a girl a break, or give me a tank and a Jetsons ray gun that will make you disappear off the road. If she'd been driving, the car would've been fine but the headache would've been worse. She really is an amazing driver.
And on that, I'm calling it a night. Finding all the open windows, turning on the heat, and try to sleep.
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