Ok, I work in a hotel restaurant/bar, so you tend to see some really strange and unusual things. Now most of the strangness doesn't happen on the full moon, for me its always halfway between the full moons. Seriously, the nuts must be practicing on me for the full moon.
Such as one weekend last year around the end of summer, I had an experience that I was amazed I was able to keep a straight face. And trust me it was really difficult to do.
That weekend, on the Saturday night, I had a lady come into the bar in a pink velor tracksuit with a can of beer in her hand. Now the tracksuit alone should've been enough not to serve her, but I didn't hold that one against her. She had no shoes on and spilt her can of beer on the wall by the bar. I informed her that as she didn't have shoes she had to leave. Since she told me she was headed to her room, I had hope that she would stay there. She was so plastered. But no, she had to come back with flip-flops on and a beer in her hand. Damn.
She wanted a beer and a shot, so I had to inform her that due to her being obviously intoxicated I couldn't serve her. I was then informed by the "pink crazy lady", which became her nickname for the weekend that she wasn't drunk but had a bad day. I've had bad days, and I've gone out in sweats and such, but really? To a bar? To Safeway yes, but bar no. She then tried to drink her beer, which as she was drunk didn't realize that not only was the can opening on the wrong side but it was still closed.
Case closed? Not. She returned. And this time she wanted a shot of tequila, like that was going to happen. I told her I still couldn't serve her. As she was leaving, she told one of the guys at the bar (which was rather full that night) not to laugh at her as it wasn't nice. He told her he wasn't laughing at her but at the TV. Thank god we had Katt Williams on Comedy Central playing and it wasn't on a commercial when she said it or it wouldn't have been believable. On her way out she flattened herself to the wall. Because when you press yourself against the wall you become invisible. I so wish that were true. The guy she accused of laughing at her asked if she was still there and I said I could see her through her magical pink tracksuit at the wall. When she was gone I locked the doors.
So when one of the guys wanted to go out for a smoke I let him out with the door unlocked so he could get back in on the condition that he didn't let the crazy lady back in. And guess who came to smoke with him? Yup, the crazy lady. So being the nice guy he was, when he was done he told her the door was locked and he was going back to his room (through a different door). And when he came back down he hid and asked me if she was still there, of course she was. As soon as she was gone, door locked again and he returned to his drinking.
Long ass paperwork describing all this to the boss to protect my ass on this in case she complained the next day. Of course, I didn't realize she had already complained to the auditor that I "hurt her feelings" by not serving her. Just doing my job you ding-dong. Of course she apparently couldn't talk without slurring her words during this complaint.
End of Saturday, end of adventure? No, not even close. Nope. No way.
It was freaky Sunday that next night. Now, I don't mind what people do, or what their beliefs are as long as they don't hurt anyone else. I don't care if they are gay, straight, bi, trans-sexual, green, purple, from another planet. Doesn't bother me. What does bother me is having to remove a person from the hotel who is attempting to kick in a room door. The funny part of it was, she was one of two "ladies" from Vegas. Now if she was post-op or has had any cosmetic work done, she needs to talk to that surgeon, they really sucked at the work then.
I was called at the bar to assist with a 'situation' (how I hate getting a call that 'we have a situation'). This guest had yelled at the first front desk girl to approach her, was laying in the middle of the hallway when the second front desk gal went up. So I was called. As a supervisor I have rank, I suppose, but I think they'd have called me anyway. By the time I got upstairs, she was on the phone, crying and drinking a beer. She asked if I had a master key to get her into the room, and I told her if she had her ID and her name was on the room we could get her a key made. She emptied her purse looking for it, couldn't find it or the key, and when I handed her the eyeliner she had forgotten to put away, it got thrown down the hall. Ok, I was done with her at this point. I took her downstairs thinking she would go the desk, but she left to go to the restaurant next door. On her way she stopped this nice looking blonde lady, and I thought "oh god, now we'll get a complaint from a guest about a drunk person stopping them in the parking lot". As I got the door for her, asked her how her night was going, she replied with a very deep voice "ok". The roommate I thought. Ok safe on complaints there.
We locked the doors, with the instruction from me to call the police if she started causing a ruckus outside. End of story? I wish.
I get a visit about 30 - 45 minutes later from the local police at the bar. Apparently the roommate needed her removed. Jeez, what the hell did I miss now? Got her removed, tresspass order placed, all calm.
Next full moom came and went with no drama at all. What the hell? Nope, none. In fact no weird stuff for awhile.
Last month, between the full moons chaos resumed...
Friday - Had to move a guest from her original room due to fear of a abusive boyfriend. Why do they stay with us? Got her safely tucked in. Thought weekend would go smooth from here on out. Nope.
Saturday - Got to work and this lady wouldn't answer her phone, or door about a late check-out nor come down to pay for another night. Just great, but I was in a very bad mood which was so perfect to deal with a deadbeat. I went up around 2 and she told me, when she finally came to the door after about 5 minutes of standing outside the room, that she would be about 5 minutes or so to check-out. Sure you will be. So at 3pm when one of the front desk guys showed up, really big and tough looking but a giant pussycat inside, we sent him up and she said 10 minutes this time. He and I went up at 3:15 to deal with her. Got the run around, got yelled at, and finally got rid of her about 3:30.
Oh, its going to be a long weekend.
Sunday - I get a call about a 'situation'. Did I mention I really had the words "we have a situation"? There was a guy in his room playing with himself in front of the window with the drapes open. Don't you know that if you are watching porn on your laptop to close the damn drapes? If you can't impress me, I don't want to see it. If I'm impressed, I'll get a chair and some popcorn to watch the show. A guest had informed the front desk gal, and both of us tried to find the room but all the drapes were closed and we couldn't figure out which room it was. I would've called the room and told him to either impress me or close the damn drapes. We get lots of families here dumbass.
Give me a full moon weekend anytime, or just impress the hell out of me. I'll even share the popcorn to whomever wants to join me in watching the show.
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